2229 definition by QuacksO

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Can refer to either:
(1) The scandal that is already brewing over how "The Donald" ever got told "you're hired".
(2) Any of the guarded entrances to the yet-to-be-constructed "great wall" between the US and Mexico; construction could get underway a heck of a lot sooner if Mexican President Enrique Peña Nieto would just get his ass in gear and agree to **pay for said wall**...
Did it ever occur to ol' Mussed-Up Hair that HE'S brought Trumpgate down upon HIMSELF due to his OWN blind arrogance and insufficient basic logical reasoning?? Hasn't it occurred to him that perhaps one of the main reasons he's having such a difficult time convincing President Nieto to pay for The Wall might be that Mexico simply DOESN'T POSSESS THE MONEY for such a colossal project?!?? Helloooooo --- the very reason that the wall is supposedly needed --- illegal Mexican immigration into the US to obtain employment --- is that so many Mexicans are too poor to sustain themselves in Mexico without supplemental income from the US, and so that indicates that there is ALREADY insufficient capital in Mexico MERELY TO PROVIDE A BASIC LIVING FOR ITS CITIZENS, let alone to provide additional funds to build a huge wall hundreds of miles long!
by QuacksO March 22, 2017

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An imperious reply that an authority figure --- most often a parent --- impatiently tells someone under his/her care when he does not wish to admit that there is literally no good/valid reason why said dependent should have to comply with the directive, but the authority figure doesn't want to admit it.
Kids are smarter than you think --- if you tell them, "Because I said so!" even just once, they will never trust your judgement again.
by QuacksO October 30, 2018

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Hands off the merchandise!

A protest/order uttered by one of either gender when someone else (usually of the opposite gender) wants to indulge in a little touchy-feely, but he’s not in the mood.
Weary girl (pushing her guy's "exploring" hand away from her boobs): Hey! Hands off the merchandise! I wanna go to sleep now!
by QuacksO November 28, 2011

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To walk and/or act in an openly casual and self-confident (or self-IMPORTANT!) manner, causing irritation and/or resentment in others from your pert attitude; especially when:

(A) your arrival was unannounced/unexpected, and so those present were not prepared to conveniently receive or assist you, or

(B) you lack or did not bestir yourself to obtain the usually-expected experience, paperwork, preparations, credential-references, etc. for your requests to be reasonably fulfilled. or

(C) you have behaved/performed poorly in the past regarding matters similar to what you presently have in mind, and so your would-be providers are none too confident or eager to fulfill your requests.
Bank loan officer (crossly), "You know, you've got SOME NERVE waltzing in here asking for a loan --- three years ago we loaned you a million dollars to look for oil, and you didn't find a drop!"
Oil prospector (casually): "Could have been worse."
Bank loan officer (raising his eyebrows in annoyance): "And then two years ago we loaned you three million dollars to drill for oil, and you came up with nuthin' but dry holes that time, too!"
Oil prospector (shrugging): "Could have been worse."
Bank loan officer (giving a snort under his breath and beginning to twitch angrily): "And then last year we loaned you TEN million dollars to do more prospecting, and you STILL couldn't find any oil!"
Oil prospector (still as sunny and flippant as ever): "Could have been worse."
Bank loan officer (finally blowing his stack): "Why do you keep saying 'it could have been worse'?! We've lost nearly FIFTEEN MILLION DOLLARS through you!"
Oil prospector (smugly): "Could have been my money."
by QuacksO October 02, 2011

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Can mean either MODERN DAY GOLDEN RULE or MEDICAL DOCTOR/DENTIST GOLDEN RULE. Illustrates the degraded/depraved state of the human psyche in the self-centered dog-eat-dog world of the 21st Century.
Modern Day Golden Rule:
(1) "Do unto others BEFORE they do unto you"... in other words, CLOBBER EVERYONE AROUND YOU INTO A SHAPELESS PULP SO THAT THEY CAN'T "GET" YOU FIRST! (Never mind that those other hapless mortals may not have had any thought/intention whatsoever of harming you... why take the chance???)
(2) "Do unto others IF they have done unto you"... in other words, never do anything nice or helpful for anyone unless you get PAID to do it, or unless THEY DO SOMETHING FOR YOU IN RETURN. Nunna this "charity/volunteer" or "out of the goodness of your heart" bullcrap!
(3) "Do unto others AS they have done unto you"... in other words, TAKE REVENGE! Whup their sorry butts twice as hard as they hurt you (even if they never intentionally meant to offend), or sue the pants off 'em in court!
Medical Doctor/Dentist Golden Rule: "Do unto other SO THAT THEY ARE FORCED to do unto you"... in other words, INTENTIONALLY CAUSE A HEALTH CRISIS WITH YOUR CLIENTS, so that they will then be compelled to pay you hefty fat fees to "cure" them!! Perform needless/destructive surgery, give them medicine that you know they will react allergically to, pick around on their teeth to create new cavities if none are already present, and so on.
I try very hard to just behave myself, keep a low profile, and not get sick if I can possibly help it --- there are too many human jackals out there who practice the M.D. Golden Rule.
by QuacksO February 08, 2013

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TMI
An acronym used as a “time out” or “let’s change the subject” protest on Instant Messenger. Stands for TOO MUCH INFORMATION, indicating that the speaker feels personally violated by his chat buddy’s latest message, probably because it contains details that are either too personal (i.e.: sexual, medically-private, describing one’s deeply-rooted fantasy, etc.) or are of the type that would likely turn one’s stomach, being revolting, gory, or otherwise overly graphic.
Online guy #1: I felt sick yesterday after a “hot’n’heavy” session with my plump new co-worker, so I had to have my stomach pumped, and the contents examined. There were some residues of lipstick, but at least there were no weevils.
Online guy #2: Uhhhhggggghhh… TMI, dude…
by QuacksO November 12, 2011

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Where an arrogant/disgruntled/overly-confident client "turns the tables" and attempts to counsel the psychologist.
Dr. Phil: Let's talk about your childhood.
Madea (cheerfully): Let's talk about YOUR childhood.
Dr. Phil. Talkin' about MY childhood isn't gonna help YOU out. Okay, let's try a different route. Do you sleep well at night?
Madea (with an impish breezy smile): Do YOU sleep well at night?
Dr. Phil (passing his hand over his face in a "I can't handle this --- NOBODY could talk any sense into this woman" gesture): Look --- I ain't gonna be able to help ya if you're gonna practice reverse psychology here!
by QuacksO December 25, 2016

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