1025 definitions by QuacksO

intrapenis injection

1. Where a dude is administered a dose of meds by inserting a smooth-tipped syringe into his urethra.
2. Where Dude#1 jizzes into a specially-designed syringe as described in Definition #1, and then injects said jizz into Dude#2's tallywacker so that his own sperm will be also released along with Dude#2's load during his next intercourse-session.

Intrapenis injection can be useful in at least two commonly-occurring circumstances: one is if Dude #1 wishes that the gal whom Dude#2 is about to mate with would allow him to "do it" with her, too, and so at least he can know that his own love-juice will be deposited into the gal's "special spot" along with the other guy's load; the other situation would be if the two guys are concerned that the gal may get pregnant, and so they hope to confuse a DNA-test by mixing up their jizz on its way in.

by QuacksO February 1, 2018

oarientation

Refers to da introductory or initial familiarizing period for new pupils of a boat-rowing class.

I gradually learned to paddle a boat merely from practicing on my own from an early age, so I wouldn't need any oarientation to get da hang of it.

by QuacksO September 29, 2022

alphabetical umpire

bumpire: Someone who monitors da activities of moochers and vagrants, uneven surfaces, or people's posteriors
cumpire: Someone who monitors a virile stud's sperm-production
dumpire: Someone who monitors da bulk-offloading of material
dumbpire: Someone who monitors stupid people and/or actions
fumpire: Someone who monitors what da castle-atop-da-beanstalk-dwelling giant said regarding British hemoglobin

gumpire: Someone who monitors Violet Beauregarde's favorite dental-exercising substance
humpire: Someone who monitors others' tune-carrying abilities, or da droning din of power-transformers and/or minuscule rapidly-flapping birds
jumpire: Someone who monitors others' pogo-stick-type leg-actions
lumpire: Someone who monitors Abner Peabody's best buddy, or abnormal bulges
mumpire: Someone who monitors child-bearing females, others' abilities to invoke da Fifth Amendment, or painful jaw-swelling

Other examples of alphabetical umpires include:
numbpire: Someone who monitors da effectiveness of an anesthetic
pumpire: Someone who monitors fluid-locomotion devices
rumpire: Someone who monitors strong drink or da jiggling of other people's behinds
sumpire: Someone who monitors addition-example solutions or overflow-containment devices
tumpire: Someone who monitors da health of others' stomachs

by QuacksO April 15, 2021

spam or sperm

Describes da useless content of most of da junk e-mail messages dat land in yer inbox --- i.e., they're either worthless meaningless crap, or sexually-explicit garbage dat you have no interest in.

It was a total waste of time to even check my e-mail inbox today... everything there was either spam or sperm!

by QuacksO October 31, 2018

allieance

A falsehood-based collusion/collaboration with someone else.

Due to so many allieances, "witnesses" are often useless for finding out what really happened, since they can all be untruthful in what they testify about.

by QuacksO October 30, 2018

hissterectomy

A surgical operation on a female snake when she doesn't want any more babies.

Apparently snake venom is an effective means to neutralize sperm, so I wonder if a female could use it as a "hissterectomy"?

by QuacksO May 9, 2023

reverse identity theft

The act of abusing the well-known and "automatically accepted" concept of identity theft (whereby a nameless criminal commits a crime and makes it appear that an innocent person did it) by falsely mentioning it to hopefully avert suspicion of criminal involvement --- the accused person does indeed commit one or more crimes himself, but then when questioned by authorities, the culprit claims to merely be an innocent ID-theft victim, and that somebody else must have committed the crimes in his name.

John claims that while he was golfing with his buddies, someone snuck into his car and used his laptop to send smutty e-mail messages. But I know what an "in the gutter" mindset he has, so I suspect that he's just hiding behind reverse identity theft.

by QuacksO November 27, 2016