685 definition by QuacksO

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Can refer to either:
(1) The scandal that is already brewing over how "The Donald" ever got told "you're hired".
(2) Any of the guarded entrances to the yet-to-be-constructed "great wall" between the US and Mexico; construction could get underway a heck of a lot sooner if Mexican President Enrique Peña Nieto would just get his ass in gear and agree to **pay for said wall**...
Did it ever occur to ol' Mussed-Up Hair that HE'S brought Trumpgate down upon HIMSELF due to his OWN blind arrogance and insufficient basic logical reasoning?? Hasn't it occurred to him that perhaps one of the main reasons he's having such a difficult time convincing President Nieto to pay for The Wall might be that Mexico simply DOESN'T POSSESS THE MONEY for such a colossal project?!?? Helloooooo --- the very reason that the wall is supposedly needed --- illegal Mexican immigration into the US to obtain employment --- is that so many Mexicans are too poor to sustain themselves in Mexico without supplemental income from the US, and so that indicates that there is ALREADY insufficient capital in Mexico MERELY TO PROVIDE A BASIC LIVING FOR ITS CITIZENS, let alone to provide additional funds to build a huge wall hundreds of miles long!
by QuacksO March 22, 2017

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Hands off the merchandise!

A protest/order uttered by one of either gender when someone else (usually of the opposite gender) wants to indulge in a little touchy-feely, but he’s not in the mood.
Weary girl (pushing her guy's "exploring" hand away from her boobs): Hey! Hands off the merchandise! I wanna go to sleep now!
by QuacksO November 28, 2011

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To walk and/or act in an openly casual and self-confident (or self-IMPORTANT!) manner, causing irritation and/or resentment in others from your pert attitude; especially when:

(A) your arrival was unannounced/unexpected, and so those present were not prepared to conveniently receive or assist you, or

(B) you lack or did not bestir yourself to obtain the usually-expected experience, paperwork, preparations, credential-references, etc. for your requests to be reasonably fulfilled. or

(C) you have behaved/performed poorly in the past regarding matters similar to what you presently have in mind, and so your would-be providers are none too confident or eager to fulfill your requests.
Bank loan officer (crossly), "You know, you've got SOME NERVE waltzing in here asking for a loan --- three years ago we loaned you a million dollars to look for oil, and you didn't find a drop!"
Oil prospector (casually): "Could have been worse."
Bank loan officer (raising his eyebrows in annoyance): "And then two years ago we loaned you three million dollars to drill for oil, and you came up with nuthin' but dry holes that time, too!"
Oil prospector (shrugging): "Could have been worse."
Bank loan officer (giving a snort under his breath and beginning to twitch angrily): "And then last year we loaned you TEN million dollars to do more prospecting, and you STILL couldn't find any oil!"
Oil prospector (still as sunny and flippant as ever): "Could have been worse."
Bank loan officer (finally blowing his stack): "Why do you keep saying 'it could have been worse'?! We've lost nearly FIFTEEN MILLION DOLLARS through you!"
Oil prospector (smugly): "Could have been my money."
by QuacksO October 02, 2011

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TMI
An acronym used as a “time out” or “let’s change the subject” protest on Instant Messenger. Stands for TOO MUCH INFORMATION, indicating that the speaker feels personally violated by his chat buddy’s latest message, probably because it contains details that are either too personal (i.e.: sexual, medically-private, describing one’s deeply-rooted fantasy, etc.) or are of the type that would likely turn one’s stomach, being revolting, gory, or otherwise overly graphic.
Online guy #1: I felt sick yesterday after a “hot’n’heavy” session with my plump new co-worker, so I had to have my stomach pumped, and the contents examined. There were some residues of lipstick, but at least there were no weevils.
Online guy #2: Uhhhhggggghhh… TMI, dude…
by QuacksO November 12, 2011

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Can mean either MODERN DAY GOLDEN RULE or MEDICAL DOCTOR/DENTIST GOLDEN RULE. Illustrates the degraded/depraved state of the human psyche in the self-centered dog-eat-dog world of the 21st Century.
Modern Day Golden Rule:
(1) "Do unto others BEFORE they do unto you"... in other words, CLOBBER EVERYONE AROUND YOU INTO A SHAPELESS PULP SO THAT THEY CAN'T "GET" YOU FIRST! (Never mind that those other hapless mortals may not have had any thought/intention whatsoever of harming you... why take the chance???)
(2) "Do unto others IF they have done unto you"... in other words, never do anything nice or helpful for anyone unless you get PAID to do it, or unless THEY DO SOMETHING FOR YOU IN RETURN. Nunna this "charity/volunteer" or "out of the goodness of your heart" bullcrap!
(3) "Do unto others AS they have done unto you"... in other words, TAKE REVENGE! Whup their sorry butts twice as hard as they hurt you (even if they never intentionally meant to offend), or sue the pants off 'em in court!
Medical Doctor/Dentist Golden Rule: "Do unto other SO THAT THEY ARE FORCED to do unto you"... in other words, INTENTIONALLY CAUSE A HEALTH CRISIS WITH YOUR CLIENTS, so that they will then be compelled to pay you hefty fat fees to "cure" them!! Perform needless/destructive surgery, give them medicine that you know they will react allergically to, pick around on their teeth to create new cavities if none are already present, and so on.
I try very hard to just behave myself, keep a low profile, and not get sick if I can possibly help it --- there are too many human jackals out there who practice the M.D. Golden Rule.
by QuacksO February 08, 2013

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Often-misunderstood-by-adults term used by teenagers to honestly describe their early years of careful and accident-free driving ("my early wreckless years"). Parents and authorities, naturally, are usually way too thick-headed and closed-minded to realize what the virtuous teens are referring to, and so they continue to criticize the teens as being scatterbrained and out of control, rather than praising them for their exceptional lifestyles and commendable habits.
Parole officer: So, young man, I understand you've been drinking for three years now?
Teen: Yeah, I started way back in my wreckless years.
Parole officer (disgustedly): Ahhhh... so you had no brain-sense back THEN, either, eh?
Teen: No, no, no... what i meant was ---
Parole officer (impatiently): Nah-ah --- no need to explain. I believe I am getting the picture perfectly loud and clear. I'm gonna recommend another three months' probation for the likes of you.
by QuacksO April 03, 2012

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Prescription eyeglasses with very thick/heavy lenses, like the infamous "forest-fire-starter" curved lens-like bottoms on heavy-walled Coca-cola soft-drink bottles.
Wow, that little old lady's sure got the coke-bottle glasses! Wonder how she ever manages to see in the shower or anyplace else where she has to take her glasses off.

Grade-school kid #1: Yo, pal --- you back from the eye-doc, I see. Whoa-hoh-hohhhh... what huge thick lenses! That rig must weigh a TON --- zheesh, I feel for ya --- totally sux, Bud!
Grade-school kid #2: Yeah, fer sher --- the doc said it was hereditary, and I'd never have good vision, so he gave me these stupid Coke-bottle glasses which I'll hafta wear the rest of my life. Ah, well... at least I can see again.
by QuacksO November 28, 2011

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