Slang from South West England, a squitter is a thoroughly nasty, smelly, disgusting squirt of liquid or semi-liquid faecal matter. Usually used as a plural, the squitters is an attack of diarrhoea brought on usually by overindulgence in alcoholic refreshment. Using squitter in the singular form means a single squirt of repulsive, stinking, watery shit and by extension a repulsive, stinking, watery shit of a person. In both cases the best thing to do is flush the toilet with plenty of disinfectant.
"Malcolm, you'renothing but a two-faced squitter!"
Terrible diarrhea that takes the form of a chunky, hot liquid gushing from your anus. May be caused by a horrific stomach bug, killer disease or vindaloo. Often accompanied by stomach cramps and a sinking feeling of hopelessness.
Not to be confused with explosive diarrhea which erupts with force, the squits are more of a steady trickle.
If you have the squits you will need to confine yourself to the toilet for at least 24 hours armed with a good supply of toilet paper, some Gatorade (for rehydration purposes) and some porno to stop yourself getting bored during the long shitting sessions.
Man: Hey Tony, where have you been for the last week?
Tony: Oh yeah, I came down with a terriblecase of the squits. My arse feels like a tattered sleeve from all the wiping.