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The Squits

Terrible diarrhea that takes the form of a chunky, hot liquid gushing from your anus. May be caused by a horrific stomach bug, killer disease or vindaloo. Often accompanied by stomach cramps and a sinking feeling of hopelessness.

Not to be confused with explosive diarrhea which erupts with force, the squits are more of a steady trickle.

If you have the squits you will need to confine yourself to the toilet for at least 24 hours armed with a good supply of toilet paper, some Gatorade (for rehydration purposes) and some porno to stop yourself getting bored during the long shitting sessions.
Man: Hey Tony, where have you been for the last week?

Tony: Oh yeah, I came down with a terrible case of the squits. My arse feels like a tattered sleeve from all the wiping.

Man: Ew.
The Squits by tonymcguff May 14, 2010
1. female who sucks dick as often as a mosquito sucks blood
2. annoying or obnoxious female
I fucked with her before she became a squito
squito by datboideme June 17, 2019
The Squits: to have liquid poop accompanied by a burning feeling in the ring Leaving you feeling some what emotional and vulnerable for the remainder of the day
Gee coach i cant play in the game tonight on account of i got the Squits

or

Soz lads cant go to the pub cos iv got the squits
Squits by Barry Pap April 29, 2003

Squitsgem 

Verb: to disprove or very soundly argue against

Noun: a completely airtight argument

Adjective: (unsquitsgemmable) Not able to argue against at all

The word is coined after the late Dr. Ernest Squitsgem, noted zoology professor at the University of Finland. Dr. Squitsem spent his entire career attempting to prove the existence of unicorns, despite all obvious evidence to the contrary. To his dying day, Squitsgem was renowned for making retarded but absolutely undisprovable claims. Other professors often referred to him as "a crazy douche". He died in 1948 in the Arctic, stabbed by a narwhal. His reported last words were "Follow the glittering hoofprints".
--I do say my good sir, you have squitsgemmed my own squitsgem with an unsquitsgemmable squitsgem of your own! Well done!

--Gary, shut the fuck up.
Squitsgem by The NarwhalKing March 13, 2011
Squits or Squirty Shit as it's more commonly known.
He had just enjoyed a great curry and felt the need to pass some wind as an appreciation but what he thought was a fart, was instead soemthing a lot heavier.....

His trousers were now full to brimming with the squits and of the most rancid, dead rat smelling type aswell.
Squits by Jonathan June 21, 2004
A colloquialism of the word "mosquito". An alternative to "mossie/mozzie" which is also used in reference to mosquitos.

Pronounced skweeto.
Example 1: Looks like the squitos are out for a drink, Bill.

Example 2: Just squashed at least a dozen squitos!
squito by milygrae January 12, 2011
More from Urban Dictionary
anyone who succeeds in disgracing/over indulging themselves in the throws of clubland
28 hours and 4 clubs later, gurning for england but still refusing to go home - a total wrongun!!
wrongun by bevvers March 21, 2007
Word of the Day on October 8, 2026

square grouper

Nickname given to bales of marijuana thrown overboard or out of airplanes. Origin is reportedly from members of the US Coast Guard in the area of Southern Florida.
"Base we've got some square groupers floating outside of Miami harbor."
square grouper by slipsheet November 6, 2004
Word of the Day on October 7, 2026
A girl who does ballet and only talks about ballet. Her schedule is filled with dance classes which does not allow her to do any other activity.
"Hey, do you know that girl Sally?"

"Yeah, she's kind of annoying. All she ever talks about it ballet."

"Wow, what a Bunhead."

"Hey Sally, you want to hang out this weekend?"
"I can't, I have dance."
"You're such a Bunhead."

"Yeah... I know."
Bunhead by Jen00 October 24, 2014
Word of the Day on October 6, 2026

trucker's tan 

A sunburn or suntan focused on the left arm. It is caused by the left side of the body being the only half that gets exposed to sunlight while driving. Presumably, it would be located on the right side of the body in countries where they drive on the left side of the road.
I had a trucker's tan after driving for 10 straight hours on a sunny day.
Word of the Day on October 5, 2026
The phenomenon where adults salivate at children's toys
Every time I walk into the toy aisle, I catch myself kidulting over the latest action figures and LEGO sets!
kidulting by Emotional Cruiser October 12, 2025
Word of the Day on October 4, 2026
British slang for a scientist or technical expert, esp . when the speaker is not certain of the expert’s specific field of study. Not necessarily derogatory, but typically used by persons without a technical background. In the US, the equivalent would be “egghead”, “squint”, or “geek.”

Origin of the word is unknown. Started sometime in World War 2. Given the typical evolution of British slang, could easily have started because what these experts did was confusing or “baffling” to the common person.
According to the boffins downstairs, the murderer used a serrated blade.
Boffin by Agnon February 11, 2023
Word of the Day on October 3, 2026

Pee Calculus

When you have to pee in a movie but don’t want to miss anything, and must do the following mental equation: will the amount I have to pee cause enough discomfort to diminish my attention capacity for the remainder of the movie to an extent which is greater than the amount of the movie I would miss by making a mad dash to the restroom.
I saw Satantango last night, wonderful film but by the 5th hour I had to start doing pee calculus.
Pee Calculus by anorlondo October 1, 2026
Word of the Day on October 2, 2026
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