shappen 

The none swearing version of shit happens!

Did you hear about steve being hit be by a bus?
Yeah, but shappens!

shappen by matt young March 11, 2005

Pencil and Sharpener theory 

The lock and key theory can finally be disproved. The lock and key theory states that "A key that opens many locks is a master key, yet a lock that can be opened by many keys is a useless lock" The counter theory, the pencil and sharpener theory states that "a pencil that is sharpened by a lot of sharpeners becomes a useless stub/pencil while a sharpener that sharpens a lot of pencils is a good pencil sharpener" This theory is rarely favoured by males... for some reason.

Are you curious to know how this proof was derived? if YES, Click on Alt + F4 (on windows) and ⌘ + Shift + W (on a mac)

The pencil and sharpener theory is mostly used to shut a boy up when he brings up the lock and key theory. Works everytime

Pencil and Sharpener theory by Pitarz September 8, 2016

Morning Sharpener 

(noun) An alcoholic beverage, typically one standard drink (0.6 oz pure ethanol), consumed at the start of one's day. The intended goal of a morning sharpener is, as the name implies, to "sharpen" one's mental accuity, mood and motivation. However, much like getting high before a stressful, high pressure event, it often has the opposite effect.

Similar to irish coffee, morning joe and wake and bake.

"What's up with Joe today?"

"Oh, he ran out of sauce for his morning sharpener. He's feeling a bit twitchy, is all."

"Poor bastard."

Morning Sharpener by CredibleHulk84 September 20, 2017

shappetite 

The urge to imminently release one's bowels.
When desire to shite is so intense it can be likened to the feeling of hunger.

"I ran into a McDonald's toilet to buss a fat shit but some tramp had just projectile vommed everywhere so I totally lost my shappetite"

shappetite by tom.r.99 May 20, 2017

broken pencil sharpener 

when someone breaks a pencil sharpener to get the blade so they can.... uh..... self harm-ony

Well, let me go get the broken pencil sharpener.

broken pencil sharpener by lizzy44 November 2, 2020

Penis Sharpening 

When low and middle level managers and supervisiors stand around and brag up various achevements and decisions that to any rational outside observer appear highly overrated at best and approaching fiascos at worst.

Geez Dennis and Jim have stood around all day penis sharpening about what they did during the blizzard.

Penis Sharpening by wittle buddy squarepants February 18, 2010

sharpen the beaver cleaver 

to hurriedly masturbate in preparation for vaginal sex; for the expressed purpose of cleaving the beav

after a chilly swim i had to sharpen the beaver cleaver before giving your mom a screaming pelican, so as not to appear baby dicked

sharpen the beaver cleaver by kootermaniac April 2, 2004