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Definitions by kootermaniac

sharpen the beaver cleaver 

to hurriedly masturbate in preparation for vaginal sex; for the expressed purpose of cleaving the beav
after a chilly swim i had to sharpen the beaver cleaver before giving your mom a screaming pelican, so as not to appear baby dicked

hat trick 

to pull off (pun intended) masterbating three times in one day; especially difficult when one is in possession of a job
dude, i pulled a hat trick today!! eat my ass gretzky
hat trick by kootermaniac April 2, 2004

golden sombrero 

the rare feat of self-flagellating oneself four times in one day; also, striking out four times in one game; tremendously difficult for males over the age of 15; surprisingly easy for jason giambi
yes!! i just earned a golden sombrero, that puts to shame my hat trick from yesterday. i need a nap.

what a tragedy! derek jeter just shot jason giambi in the locker-room for being completely useless and afflecking his way to yet another golden sombrero