A cyber relationship between two equally pathetic losers who met in a cyber chat room and despite living hundreds or thousands of miles apart and having never met in person, have vowed to remain cyber faithful - forsaking all other chat requests.
Buddy: "Hey Stan, how's your girl from the Philippines, Three_Cox_in_Me, doing?"
Lonely_But_Rich: "She's so sweet. She's really into me. In fact, we're in a totally e-sclusive relationship now since I sent her that $10K to go on the cruise with her cousin, Enrico."
A schmassive is a penis of such substantial size it can often be compared with objects such as an Inter Continental Balistic Missile, a zeppelin, a submarine up to such a scale its testicles could be the size of the moon. Following the trend of schlort, schledium and schlong, the schmassive is of such epic proportion to the schlong it is almost separate from the franchise.
Person A: Hey man is my wang a schlort, schledium or schlong dya reckon?
Person B: Ok....Whoa! OMFG that's a fucking schmassive!