Updated Autopsy Report 

The special attack of best prosecutor, Miles Edgeworth, used to shut down all the defense attorneys who were incompetent enough to not have the latest autopsy report

Phoenix Wright: Objection! There was only one bullet wound!
Edgeworth: Why don’t you take a look at this frickin UPDATED AUTOPSY REPORT

Updated Autopsy Report by ObjectingFurry January 12, 2020

Subhuman Resources 

That which passes for Human Resources, the corporate repository for people too feckless, indolent and dull-witted to survive by eating out of dumpsters. Circumventing the certain risk to production, process or profit these fools represent, Subhuman Resources serves the double purpose of barring such incompetents from mucking up the works by turning them loose to harry the employees who actually do contribute to company success.

Famously sexless, humorless and brainless, this office also serves to repel rodents if, ironically, by employing them.

When April was caught stealing employee lunch boxes they promoted her to Subhuman Resources

Subhuman Resources by lexicali slim September 8, 2010

resourciopath 

A combination of sociopath and hoarding. A person that collects an abundance of resources that they could never possibly need or use so that they can control, influence, and force power over other people that want those resources and have no other way of obtaining them.

Person 1: I hate billionaires. Who would ever need a billion dollars?
Person 2: Jeff Bezos, Bill Gates, and Elon Musk all have over $100 billion. It's disgusting.
Person 1: They are resourciopaths for sure. I can't believe anyone thinks they are 'philanthropists.'

resourciopath by psilipijiphili June 23, 2021

Human Resources

Soulless, mendacious, spineless, shit-eating prick twisters who aren't smart enough to be lawyers or empathetic enough to be child molesters.

That lying fuckface Tim in HR won't do shit about my useless boss. Human Resources strikes again.

Human Resources by NylonPimp January 16, 2017

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report card

The #1 cause of suicidal thoughts around the world.

Tim: "Hey John, can I see your report card?"
John: "Hey Tim, before I answer that question, do you know a place where I can get any cheap neurotoxins?"
Tim: ".....Failed all your courses?"
John: "Yup."

report card by Hermin The Hobo April 7, 2012

Robot Resources 

1. What Human Resources will be called after we're all replaced by robots. HR will become RR.

2.The enabler of a new economic paradigm where we're all either sipping pina coladas on the beach, or shipped off to glue factories.

You got a problem with us, Elon? Take it up with RR (Robot Resources).

HR is totally useless. I look forward to the day it's replaced by Robot Resources. Even though that'll mean I'm out of a job I guess.

Robot Resources by denumb October 29, 2017