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Soulless, mendacious, spineless, shit-eating prick twisters who aren't smart enough to be lawyers or empathetic enough to be child molesters.
That lying fuckface Tim in HR won't do shit about my useless boss. Human Resources strikes again.
by NylonPimp January 16, 2017
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Jul 24 Word of the Day
It’s an acronym standing for Can’t Remember A Fucking Thing. It’s usually used to describe embarrassment at being unable to remember someone (CRAFT moment); going onstage as the lead in the latest theatrical performance and your mind goes completely blank (CRAFT situation); the next morning after a night when you got pissed as a fart and woke up in bed cuddling a traffic cone and a string of fairy lights wound round your prick.
β€œWhere did you go after we left the pub?”
β€œDunno, CRAFT.”
by AKACroatalin November 07, 2015
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If a company is a house, then Human Resources is the septic tank; all the shit goes there. Human Resources, better known as HR, is the lowest place in a corporation's hierarchy, although they make themselves important by gaining the ability to control who works and who doesn't. To be a success in HR one must lose all trace of humanity and become a robot (becoming a whore is also advisable.) To paraphrase Willie Nelson,"mommas, dont let your babies grow up to be HR drones, don't let 'em be robots or whores or sluts, make 'em be robbers or car thieves and such....."
when i was a child, i thought like a child, but when i grew up and started working in Human Resources, i knew i had lost my soul, and to appease my new gods i fired my best friend, my girlfriend, my brother, an Iraqi war veteran with a silver star and a distinguished service cross, and the guy who saved me from drowning when i was a kid. what a good day's work!!
by earpuller November 30, 2010
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The sort of people who, when considering CVs of job applicants, remove from the list people who are better than them, just to protect their jobs. Devious evil scum, who are in personnel or human resources because they have fucked up every other job, fucked the General Manager or both.
The sort of people who, when considering job applicants to run post-invasion Iraq, would consider Saddam Hussien, Fidel Castro or Robert Mugabe, as a) They all hold Doctorates. b) "Have relevant experience and contacts." c) Have done the job before.
by gremlin February 22, 2005
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the uncaring, self-centered, all"powerful" hierarchy of Convergys
The "God's" making important decisions which affect the lives of the employees who work under them, causing employees to become angered; they then hide behind locked doors, fearing for their lives, while providing nachos for the employees in the lunchroom to try and make peace
by I ain't nothin' but a number December 16, 2004
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The department within a business responsible for the progression of the company through people management. Usually hated by employees at lower levels due to managers passing on their dirty work i.e disciplinaries, firing and redundancies.
Manaer to employee:
Don't worry Jack, I'm the best manager in the world and I'll make sure you won't lose your job.

Manager to Human Resources Rep:
This Jack guy is a liabilaty. I need to get rid of him, will you dismiss him for me.

Jack to his friends:
My manager was great. He did everything he could to save my job but HR fired me. Fucking pricks!
by Bassboy June 12, 2006
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