report card

The #1 cause of suicidal thoughts around the world.

Tim: "Hey John, can I see your report card?"
John: "Hey Tim, before I answer that question, do you know a place where I can get any cheap neurotoxins?"
Tim: ".....Failed all your courses?"
John: "Yup."

by Hermin The Hobo February 15, 2012

report card

A piece of paper your school gives you, thinking you are going to have your parents sign it. Normally contains the letter "F" or "E" followed by comments from your teachers on how bad of a student you are.

Just got my report card, looked at it, all Fs, took to the teacher like: Throw some Ds on the bitch!

- Soulja Boy Tellem

by JustBlaze216 November 1, 2007

report card

something you dont want your mom to see

i hope my mom doesnt see my report card

by IhopeIdrinkwater April 30, 2022

report card

your will

some person: "I just got my report card"
some other person: "Can I have your bike when you're dead?"

by mexican.potato February 21, 2023

Report Card

Literally, a piece of paper that shreds apart families in a second (Only if you got bad grades).

Son: Hey dad, here's my report card.
Dad: Ok, lemme see.
Dad: *sees F*
Son: Oh sh**, I don't like a look on his face.
*mom comes out of nowhere with a belt*
Dad: Get him...

by Frosty 13 March 21, 2018

Report Card

The source of all nightmares for kids, generally containing mostly C's when the student has promised his parents good marks.

"Timmy, how did you do," Asked the mother curiously.
"Oh...right... Remember how how you told me you loved me yesterday, before these report cards existed...?

by Vlad E. September 28, 2009

Report Card

A piece of paper that is issued to students of any elementary school, middle school, and high school at the end of the quarter. It shows you your grades and comments are usually written in a box.

Gilman: This sucks! i'm failing everything!

Clint: Well maybe if you did some work instead of jacking off all the time you'd be able to pull those grades up.

by iwannabeanalcoholic April 20, 2005