Tim: "Hey John, can I see your report card?"
John: "Hey Tim, before I answer that question, do you know a place where I can get any cheap neurotoxins?"
Tim: ".....Failed all your courses?"
John: "Yup."
by Hermin The Hobo February 15, 2012
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A piece of paper your school gives you, thinking you are going to have your parents sign it. Normally contains the letter "F" or "E" followed by comments from your teachers on how bad of a student you are.
Just got my report card, looked at it, all Fs, took to the teacher like: Throw some Ds on the bitch!

- Soulja Boy Tellem
by JustBlaze216 November 1, 2007
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The source of all nightmares for kids, generally containing mostly C's when the student has promised his parents good marks.
"Timmy, how did you do," Asked the mother curiously.
"Oh...right... Remember how how you told me you loved me yesterday, before these report cards existed...?
by Vlad E. September 28, 2009
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Literally, a piece of paper that shreds apart families in a second (Only if you got bad grades).
Son: Hey dad, here's my report card.
Dad: Ok, lemme see.
Dad: *sees F*
Son: Oh sh**, I don't like a look on his face.
*mom comes out of nowhere with a belt*
Dad: Get him...
by Frosty 13 March 21, 2018
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A piece of paper that is issued to students of any elementary school, middle school, and high school at the end of the quarter. It shows you your grades and comments are usually written in a box.
Gilman: This sucks! i'm failing everything!

Clint: Well maybe if you did some work instead of jacking off all the time you'd be able to pull those grades up.
by iwannabeanalcoholic April 20, 2005
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The insignificant school-related item you don't want your parents to see because you slacked off alot in school.
Archie was grounded for a month after he showed his parents his 2nd semester report card.
by goldmetaman July 11, 2009
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If you're a student like me (Makes horrible test grades but actually does your homework and somewhat cares) then you probably dread this day. If you're a student like my older sister(Studies hard never misses a homework assingment aces all the tests and on the teachers good side) then you probably love this day. This is the day when asian parents yell at their kids for getting an A-. This is the day white kids get sympathy for making a C. This is also the day that black kids get their asses whooped for bringing home a D+. If by chance your report card satisfies your parent then you can expect some money or a trip to your favorite restaurant.
Asian kid: Mom... heres my report card
Asian Mom: An A-!!!! You have got to do better!!

White Kid:Oh crap its report card day! Here it is...
White parent: Aww you got a C in History. Try to do better next time honey.

Black kid: Mom before I show you my report card promise me you won't go crazy... AHHHHHH!!!!! MOMMA NO!!!!
by childplz March 11, 2011
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