mintues 

A measurement of time used by people who can't be bothered to correct a fucking typo.

My boyfriend was fucking me in the ass for a solid 70 mintues. It was the best fuck I ever had.

mintues by Lord Savaunt January 31, 2017

Ywo minutes 

Ywo minutes
No it isn't a typing error

Ywo is Pronounced: you

It's a remix of the term two minutes but instead of it being a duration of two minutes it can be any amount of time between a minute and a hour

gGuy: are you ready
ggGuy: no give me ywo minutes
* 30 mins later *
ggGuy: Ok, lesss gooo

Ywo minutes by TF'ingBoiHimself April 19, 2020

I'll be ready in 5 minutes 

The validation of Einstein's theory of relativity, in which the concept of five minutes is infinitely elastic, and feminine.

"I'll be ready in 5 minutes" she liked to say, and he knew he could relax for at least an hour.

I'll be ready in 5 minutes by Monkey's Dad April 22, 2023

35 minutes ago

Referring to one's masterplan having already taken effect when another person confronts you about trying to affect the outcome.

Can also be used to quickly prove one's intense intellect and stun foes, or to refuse invitations to do things that are extremely uncool.

Initially coined by Ozymandias of Watchmen, the graphic novel and movie.

Guy: Hey, you wanna go get something to eat?
Guy 2:Nah, I already ate. 35 minutes ago.

Boss: That memo isn't on my desk.
Lowly Corporate Peon: That's a shame, because I turned it in 35 minutes ago.

35 minutes ago by thirtyfive March 17, 2009

in 5 minutes 

A phrase said by people in hopes to shut you up about asking them when something will happen. 99% of the time, the anticipated event doesn't happen in 5 minutes. It often doesn't even happen in 15 minutes.

At 3:10 PM
Person 1: When the hell are you getting here? This was scheduled for 3:00 PM!
Person 2: In 5 minutes.
Person 1: OK.
***20 minutes later***
Person 1: It's been way more than 5 minutes, what the hell are you doing?
Person 2: hold on! Why are you so impatient?
Person 1: Because you told me you'd be here in 5 minutes!

in 5 minutes by lordcg January 8, 2018

Microsoft Minutes 

Times claimed by Microsoft products to complete tasks (installing products, copying files, etc). Swings both ways, can be greatly exaggerated or massively optimistic.

A- "How long till your done with that OS install?"
B- "About 5 minutes"
A- "Is that Microsoft Minutes?"
B- "Yeh"
A- "See you in an hour"

Microsoft Minutes by Dicer April 27, 2006

two minutes 

A standard unit of time lasting anywhere from thirty seconds to an hour and a half, based on the female in question and the task at hand.

He: "Are you ready to go? The ballgame starts in twenty minutes!"

She: "Two minutes!"

<ten minutes of makeup application later>

He: "I'm leaving. Now."
She: "Two minutes!"

two minutes by PsychoPuppyDad May 18, 2010