two minutes

A standard unit of time lasting anywhere from thirty seconds to an hour and a half, based on the female in question and the task at hand.

He: "Are you ready to go? The ballgame starts in twenty minutes!"

She: "Two minutes!"

<ten minutes of makeup application later>

He: "I'm leaving. Now."
She: "Two minutes!"

by PsychoPuppyDad May 18, 2010

Two minutes

A unit of time defined by the difference between the initial iMessage notification chime and its followup.

Oh, is that the same message or did I get a new one? Guess it's been two minutes.

by America Lover 🇺🇸 January 3, 2019

two minute justin

Any man who ejaculates almost immediately after the beginning of intercourse with a female. The term was first coined by a few students of the Pasadena High School Senior class of 2008 in Pasadena, TX. While discussing their mutual hatred for a self-righteous nobody (named justin), one of the young ladies tells the story of how one of her friends (who shall remain nameless) was persuaded into having sex with the male in question, only to have him ejaculate way too prematurely. Justin was said to have "lasted only two minutes before he came. What a fucking pussy." The term has since then been attributed to him, but has been used to describe any man who has performed such shameful actions.

Girl 1: So...did that guy you met give you the night of your life, or what?
Girl 2: Night? What an overstatement...that douche turned out to be a two minute justin...what a dud.
Girl 1: Ouch...

by JTFan4u June 15, 2009

Two Minute Noodle

A penis that is prone to pre mature ejaculation.

Girl 1: I was with this really hot guy last night.
Girl 2: Did you sleep with him?
Girl 1: Yeah but he prematurely ejaculated so it was over pretty quick.
Girl 2: Oh pity, sounds like he had a Two Minute Noodle.

by principessash August 26, 2009

Two minute drill

The act of searching a bar for intoxicated women to bring home within minutes of the bar closing. This usually occurs after the begining of the evening is spent binge drinking and scouting out available women. You may hear people yell "OMAHA!!" before beginning their search. This is done to mimic football legends Tom Brady and Peyton Manning, who use the expression while calling plays with under two minutes remaining in a football game.

Yo Piff...I'm pickled. Time to run the two minute drill. OMAHA!! OMAHA!!

by Pick Majick July 30, 2010

two minute brother

a man who has no stamina in the bedroom who comes too quickly during sex, resulting in a loss of pleasure for their partner(s).

Damn, after getting humped by that two minute brother, I need a ride on my dildo to get my cum on.

by the skizzow September 4, 2003

Two-Minute-Noodle

A Two-Minute-Noodle is a male who inserts his penis into the preferred orifice and after two minutes he ejaculates and becomes flaccid or a "noodle".

No, the sex was not good, Luke pulled a Two-Minute-Noodle and blamed it on how tight I was.

by ThatDudeWhoWrites December 13, 2016