by ManOfDiamond September 04, 2022
A large terrorist organisation, hell bent on producing software that crashes and works slowly. Some of their more evil tactics over the years include waiting until just before you click the save button to make the screen go all blue for no reason, but more subtle tactics include waiting until you start to work, then annoying you with a sodding paper clip.
Josh: "I'll just get on with some work..."
Microsoft Paperclip: "Hello!"
Josh: *I'll just ignore him, and he'll go away*.... *starts to type*
Microsoft Paperclip: "Do you want to write a letter?"
Josh: "No."
Microsoft Paperclip: "Okay, do you need some help with that?"
Josh: "NO! NO! NO I DONT FUCKING WANT SOME HELP! PISS OFF!!"
*clicks on hide, paperclip dissapears*...*begins to work...*
... 2 minutes pass ...
Microsoft Paperclip: "Hello!"
Microsoft Paperclip: "Hello!"
Josh: *I'll just ignore him, and he'll go away*.... *starts to type*
Microsoft Paperclip: "Do you want to write a letter?"
Josh: "No."
Microsoft Paperclip: "Okay, do you need some help with that?"
Josh: "NO! NO! NO I DONT FUCKING WANT SOME HELP! PISS OFF!!"
*clicks on hide, paperclip dissapears*...*begins to work...*
... 2 minutes pass ...
Microsoft Paperclip: "Hello!"
by RICCARD October 09, 2005
An obvius copy of Macrohard, which Bill Gates stole the disk of while I was sleeping. He also copied my program Doors, and renamed it Windows.
Me: *sleeping*
Bill Gates: I'll just take this disk... *yoink*
Me: You, come back here right now, or I will personally come all the way over there and call Ronald F***ing McDonald to kick you in the nuts!
Bill Gates: hehehe *escapes* I'll just change the name to Microsoft, and this program to Windows, and no one will ever know!!!! WAHAHAHA!!!!
Me: Cheap B******!
Bill Gates: I'll just take this disk... *yoink*
Me: You, come back here right now, or I will personally come all the way over there and call Ronald F***ing McDonald to kick you in the nuts!
Bill Gates: hehehe *escapes* I'll just change the name to Microsoft, and this program to Windows, and no one will ever know!!!! WAHAHAHA!!!!
Me: Cheap B******!
by sum-dude March 22, 2005
by MS SUX July 20, 2005
Company bent on world domination. This however will never happen because people keep transferring over to Linux.
Bob: Man I hate Microsoft Windows Xp!!! :(
Rob: That's why you should have switched to Linux you dolt!
Rob: That's why you should have switched to Linux you dolt!
by 1337 |-|4x0|2 May 13, 2006
Its both very soft to the touch and micro-sized at the same time, making it the strangest computer company in the world.
by ClickedEnter October 19, 2020
1. noun : A large company specialising in making cock-ups, and then blaming them on the user.
2. adj : Any entity, company or individual who makes a useful product which can only be used if you buy other, more expensive, products.
3 To Do A Microsoft - to sell a product, claiming that it is good value for money when, in actual fact by the time you buy the addons, it is more expensive than better versions that don't need the add-ons.
2. adj : Any entity, company or individual who makes a useful product which can only be used if you buy other, more expensive, products.
3 To Do A Microsoft - to sell a product, claiming that it is good value for money when, in actual fact by the time you buy the addons, it is more expensive than better versions that don't need the add-ons.
1 + 2:
User: I have been infected with a virus and have lost over £1,000 worth of work from my computer.
Microsoft: That's because you didn't buy a firewall, virus scanner, anti-spam and port blocker.
User: But the Microsoft box said the your product was safe.
Microsoft: Yes, but you didn't use it properly. When we ship the product it is set so that viruses can attack you - you should have spent a week securing it before using it. It wasn't our fault, it was your fault, so tough shit!
3. iTunes music has protection which means that it can only be used on iTunes software and ipods, retricting you enjoyment of the music to their products - they have Done a Microsoft!
User: I have been infected with a virus and have lost over £1,000 worth of work from my computer.
Microsoft: That's because you didn't buy a firewall, virus scanner, anti-spam and port blocker.
User: But the Microsoft box said the your product was safe.
Microsoft: Yes, but you didn't use it properly. When we ship the product it is set so that viruses can attack you - you should have spent a week securing it before using it. It wasn't our fault, it was your fault, so tough shit!
3. iTunes music has protection which means that it can only be used on iTunes software and ipods, retricting you enjoyment of the music to their products - they have Done a Microsoft!
by Geordie John February 26, 2006