masturfest 

When you masturbate to a person from afar so much they come into your life in a romantic sense as if you manifested your relations through just friggin' wackin' it.

"My guy, I'm going to masturfest Jordan into becoming my partner if it takes all the rubdowns in the world."
"I just started jacking it to her finsta and like boom, all of a sudden, we match on tinder. I masturfested this."
"It's beautiful, here we are, four kids, a lot, and a yacht, and I truly have masturfesting to thank for my dreams becumming my reality.

masturfest by entirely believable margarine May 5, 2022

masturbeto 

The lonely physical act of engaging in near-sexual fantasies of large-scale gun confiscation. Usually done to completion in an act of shameless pandering to one’s mindless millennial followers

There he goes again, starting to Masturbeto at the campaign rally

masturbeto by General con douchenbag October 12, 2022

Masturbetes 

a common yet often undiagnosed disease normally developed in but not limited to the late teens, namely freshman year of college. Although it can be seen in the rare female case, Masturbetes affects mainly males. This disease causes the testicles to produce large amounts of semen and testosterone, thus causing a drastic peak in the sexual desire and arousal of the afflicted male, who is scientifically referred to as a Masturbetic. The most common treatment is excessive masturbation, usually accompanied by the viewing of pornographic materials. Another symptom is increased aggressive behavior towards the female sex mostly in an attempt to receive a sort of assisted treatment from said female. Rejection can lead to the Maturbetic engaging in further self-treatment. Ejaculation reduces elevated sexual desire and semen in Masturbetics, similar to how insulin shots decrease abnormally high blood sugar in diabetics. Severe cases call for around 3-5 rounds of intense treatment to curb desire and reduce the amount of semen to normal levels. Lubrication is advised in such cases to avoid irritation of the penile region.

"Dude...I just went to the doctor, and I got diagnosed with masturbetes..."

"That's why you jerk off so much! that sucks man"

"Not really, I got a doctor's note, and now that I'm a Masturbetic, I can slap my johnson in class"

Masturbetes by FroknKoko December 3, 2011

masturfapturbation 

Portmanteau of "masturbation" and "fap." It describes (generally male) masturbation where so much effort, passion, and time will be put into the act that the words masturbation or fapping simply don't cut it.

Chris was planning on fapping, but he decided to go for masturfapturbation instead since he had so much time on his hands.

masturfapturbation by ScholarGentleman February 23, 2015

masturbaste 

The act of masturbating on one's own body and rubbing it in as you would basting liquid on a turkey

"Why are you so sticky?"
"Because I like to masturbaste"

masturbaste by Brownbear33 April 15, 2010

Masturbeat 

The act of masturbating with one self to the beat of a song. Can also be used in other tenses such as; Masturbeating or Masturbeated.

Billy just told me how much the band Dragonforce has changed his life since he only used to masturbeat to Rick Astley.

Masturbeat by William O'brien October 6, 2012

Masturtasting 

When you have some food that you want to savour, you suck and play with it and make moaning sounds. i;e Masturbating but with food :D

Person 1: Last night I ate some Devil's chocolate cake.
Person 2: That would have made for a nice masturtasting session.

Masturtasting by Kandyyy August 29, 2009