Masturbeating 

To masturbate until it hurts too much to continue doing so, and sometimes too much to do other activities.

Ted: Hey Bob, wanna play Twister?
Bob: Eh.. No I don't think so Ted, I just took a huge masturbeating last night.

Masturbeating by Kiku7 May 5, 2010

Masturbeating 

1. Masturbating to the beat of the music

2. Violently masturbating to the point of pain, or death.

1. Nick was masturbeating to skrillex for 7 hours yesterday! His dick must be beat xD

2. Sean died last night after masturbating for more than 3 days in a row. What a masterbeat!

Masturbeating by panzerdude909 April 19, 2012

masturbating to the dictionary 

A phrase used as a comeback to a Grammar Nazi or to someone who says “grammar is sexy” during a conversation. It can be used in any situation to respond to someone who tries to shame you on your grammar.

i.e.
txt msg exchange
Timmy: Yo Jake, you wanna come over to Jason’s place to smoke after school? Meghan and Jill are coming over and I’m sure your have a dope time with us.
Jake: You mean *you’ll have a dope time.
Timmy: Dude, are you masturbating to the dictionary at your house? Don’t be such a Grammar Nazi.

Lucy: Hey Jamie, do you think Alex is doing good today after the party last night? You think he’s interested in hanging out later?
Jamie: You mean, doing WELL after the party…? Damn Lucy, grammar is sexy just an fyi.
Lucy: Wtf Jamie, when did you start masturbating to the dictionary?

masturbating to the dictionary by runninghighkid August 4, 2018

Masturblazing 

Masturblazing the is act of masturbating whilst high, the purpose? Well why not.

Adam: Damn last night I passed around 8pm!
Cody: Why so early, loser
Adam: I was Masturblazing in my room ha

Masturblazing by MessyBRider May 28, 2013

masturbearding 

To stroke one's beard with great intensity, almost as if the act is sexually gratifying.

I couldn't concentrate on the professor's lecture because he was masturbearding the whole time.

masturbearding by internetsensation May 27, 2009

masturbating

What you're doing when using urban dictionary.

I'm masturbating.

masturbating by ccthz January 27, 2021

furiously masturbating 

A type of masturbating practiced by reclusives who fear that their masturbatory time may be limited.

This is generally not the case, giving furious masterbaters a proclivity to masturbate a lot.

Instead of playing beer pong and sleazing on grimbos, Alex spent the night in his room, furiously masturbating.

furiously masturbating by AXAdartmouth April 16, 2009