masturbeet 

The practice of inserting a beet into one's anus for self-pleasure.

I was "beeting off" last night with a beet. I was "masturbeeting".

Sort of reminds me of what f*cking Terri Schiavo would be like.

She eased the lubed up beet into her pooching rectum, (masturbeeting) savoring every second before exploding a pudddle of ejaculatory fluid.

masturbeet by bonobo3873 September 26, 2013

masturbeet 

The practice of inserting a beet into one's anus for self-pleasure.

I was "beeting off" last night with a beet. I was "masturbeeting".

Sort of reminds me of what f*cking Terri Schiavo would be like.

She eased the lubed up beet into her pooching rectum, (masturbeeting) savoring every second before exploding a pudddle of ejaculatory fluid.

masturbeet by bonobo3873 September 26, 2013

masturbate and switch 

Masturbate and switch — the erotic KINK of having sex with one person while thinking of another; or, of talking dirty to a sexual partner and allowing them to verbally — either from your mouth or theirs — acknowledge deep sexual attraction for another person; or, for an extreme sexual scenario.

This is not a practice for the sexually insecure — unless insecurity is your particular KINK!!!!!

On the one hand, if one wants to enjoy the depth sexuality of another, the partner has to be made to feel comfortable physically, mentally and spiritually.

On the other hand, one would have to ask if their ego is strong enough to facilitate the unbridled sexuality and fantasy life of another.

Well…you don’t hit home runs unless you swing for the fences. And, on the other hand, if you swing too hard and miss YOU CAN STRIKE OUT!!!!!!

Unless you are a “sex-pert” DON’T TRY THIS AT HOME!!!!!!!

But if you are ever semi-single in Negril at a Club Med — and you didn’t hear this from me — give it a shot!!!!!!!

Remember: NOT A PRACTICE FOR THE SEXUALLY TIMID AND INSECURE!!!!!!

Him: Wow, that was a quick orgasm, babe!!! You must have been really horny.

Her: Naw. I did a masturbate and switch and IT GOT REALLY GOOD TO ME!!!!!!

Him: Tell me what you were thinking so I can masturbate and switch, too!!!!!!!!!

masturbate and switch by Mind Hunter the Profiler June 21, 2023

masturbeto 

The lonely physical act of engaging in near-sexual fantasies of large-scale gun confiscation. Usually done to completion in an act of shameless pandering to one’s mindless millennial followers

There he goes again, starting to Masturbeto at the campaign rally

masturbeto by General con douchenbag October 12, 2022

Masturbetes 

a common yet often undiagnosed disease normally developed in but not limited to the late teens, namely freshman year of college. Although it can be seen in the rare female case, Masturbetes affects mainly males. This disease causes the testicles to produce large amounts of semen and testosterone, thus causing a drastic peak in the sexual desire and arousal of the afflicted male, who is scientifically referred to as a Masturbetic. The most common treatment is excessive masturbation, usually accompanied by the viewing of pornographic materials. Another symptom is increased aggressive behavior towards the female sex mostly in an attempt to receive a sort of assisted treatment from said female. Rejection can lead to the Maturbetic engaging in further self-treatment. Ejaculation reduces elevated sexual desire and semen in Masturbetics, similar to how insulin shots decrease abnormally high blood sugar in diabetics. Severe cases call for around 3-5 rounds of intense treatment to curb desire and reduce the amount of semen to normal levels. Lubrication is advised in such cases to avoid irritation of the penile region.

"Dude...I just went to the doctor, and I got diagnosed with masturbetes..."

"That's why you jerk off so much! that sucks man"

"Not really, I got a doctor's note, and now that I'm a Masturbetic, I can slap my johnson in class"

Masturbetes by FroknKoko December 3, 2011

masturbate 

Act people commit when browsing Urban Dictionary

All these definitions make me want to masturbate

masturbate by 32121 July 22, 2016

masturbatable 

When it is debatable whether or not you could masturbate over the subject or not.

Dame Edna in a swimsuit: masturbatable.

dude 1: damn that chicks hot!

dude 2: thats my mum

dude 1: thats masturbatable

masturbatable by Sam Etabrut November 27, 2012