a common yet often undiagnosed disease normally developed in but not limited to the late teens, namely freshman year of college. Although it can be seen in the rare female case, Masturbetes affects mainly males. This disease causes the testicles to produce large amounts of semen and testosterone, thus causing a drastic peak in the sexual desire and arousal of the afflicted male, who is scientifically referred to as a Masturbetic. The most common treatment is excessive masturbation, usually accompanied by the viewing of pornographic materials. Another symptom is increased aggressive behavior towards the female sex mostly in an attempt to receive a sort of assisted treatment from said female. Rejection can lead to the Maturbetic engaging in further self-treatment. Ejaculation reduces elevated sexual desire and semen in Masturbetics, similar to how insulin shots decrease abnormally high blood sugar in diabetics. Severe cases call for around 3-5 rounds of intense treatment to curb desire and reduce the amount of semen to normal levels. Lubrication is advised in such cases to avoid irritation of the penile region.
"Dude...I just went to the doctor, and I got diagnosed with masturbetes..."
"That's why you jerk off so much! that sucks man"
"Not really, I got a doctor's note, and now that I'm a Masturbetic, I can slap my johnson in class"
"That's why you jerk off so much! that sucks man"
"Not really, I got a doctor's note, and now that I'm a Masturbetic, I can slap my johnson in class"
by FroknKoko December 3, 2011
Get the Masturbetes mug.Masturbate and switch — the erotic KINK of having sex with one person while thinking of another; or, of talking dirty to a sexual partner and allowing them to verbally — either from your mouth or theirs — acknowledge deep sexual attraction for another person; or, for an extreme sexual scenario.
This is not a practice for the sexually insecure — unless insecurity is your particular KINK!!!!!
On the one hand, if one wants to enjoy the depth sexuality of another, the partner has to be made to feel comfortable physically, mentally and spiritually.
On the other hand, one would have to ask if their ego is strong enough to facilitate the unbridled sexuality and fantasy life of another.
Well…you don’t hit home runs unless you swing for the fences. And, on the other hand, if you swing too hard and miss YOU CAN STRIKE OUT!!!!!!
Unless you are a “sex-pert” DON’T TRY THIS AT HOME!!!!!!!
But if you are ever semi-single in Negril at a Club Med — and you didn’t hear this from me — give it a shot!!!!!!!
Remember: NOT A PRACTICE FOR THE SEXUALLY TIMID AND INSECURE!!!!!!
This is not a practice for the sexually insecure — unless insecurity is your particular KINK!!!!!
On the one hand, if one wants to enjoy the depth sexuality of another, the partner has to be made to feel comfortable physically, mentally and spiritually.
On the other hand, one would have to ask if their ego is strong enough to facilitate the unbridled sexuality and fantasy life of another.
Well…you don’t hit home runs unless you swing for the fences. And, on the other hand, if you swing too hard and miss YOU CAN STRIKE OUT!!!!!!
Unless you are a “sex-pert” DON’T TRY THIS AT HOME!!!!!!!
But if you are ever semi-single in Negril at a Club Med — and you didn’t hear this from me — give it a shot!!!!!!!
Remember: NOT A PRACTICE FOR THE SEXUALLY TIMID AND INSECURE!!!!!!
Him: Wow, that was a quick orgasm, babe!!! You must have been really horny.
Her: Naw. I did a masturbate and switch and IT GOT REALLY GOOD TO ME!!!!!!
Him: Tell me what you were thinking so I can masturbate and switch, too!!!!!!!!!
Her: Naw. I did a masturbate and switch and IT GOT REALLY GOOD TO ME!!!!!!
Him: Tell me what you were thinking so I can masturbate and switch, too!!!!!!!!!
by Mind Hunter the Profiler June 21, 2023
Get the masturbate and switch mug.The lonely physical act of engaging in near-sexual fantasies of large-scale gun confiscation. Usually done to completion in an act of shameless pandering to one’s mindless millennial followers
by General con douchenbag October 12, 2022
Get the masturbeto mug.by 32121 July 22, 2016
Get the masturbate mug.John wanted to masturbate, so he clicked on the computer in the darkly lit room. He typed “porn hub” into the search bar and took off his jeans. He quickly took off his boxers and let his dick feel the fresh air. He clicked the most popular result and started watching the porn.
He felt his dick harden when he got to the sex. He felt aroused, so he started to wank. It filled him up with pleasure. The head of his dick became covered with precum and he started wanking faster. It felt so good to him. He started to stroke it and rub it. His penis was dripping with precum.
He felt his dick become heavy and the head full. The threesome on the screen were arousing John even more. John let out a deep moan of pleasure and a hot stream of jizz sprayed out of his member. Semen covered his lap, as his dick bobbled around to let out a few more spurts of cum. He kept wanking, then his door opened. John was so scared, he almost ripped his dick off.
His dick layed flaccid across his naked legs, then he walked to the bathroom, his legs coated with semen.
He felt his dick harden when he got to the sex. He felt aroused, so he started to wank. It filled him up with pleasure. The head of his dick became covered with precum and he started wanking faster. It felt so good to him. He started to stroke it and rub it. His penis was dripping with precum.
He felt his dick become heavy and the head full. The threesome on the screen were arousing John even more. John let out a deep moan of pleasure and a hot stream of jizz sprayed out of his member. Semen covered his lap, as his dick bobbled around to let out a few more spurts of cum. He kept wanking, then his door opened. John was so scared, he almost ripped his dick off.
His dick layed flaccid across his naked legs, then he walked to the bathroom, his legs coated with semen.
by Well, shit. December 21, 2017
Get the masturbate mug.stimulate one's own genitals for sexual pleasure.
stimulate the genitals of (someone) to give them sexual pleasure. to make yourself feel so good and tingle-y inside when your bored or horney and when you make yourself feel fucking amazing.. here's an example for girls lay backwards on a bed and spread your legs a little apart.. then put your hands in your pants (if you're wearing them) and open your vagina lips with your index finger and middle finger.. once you've opened your vagina gently move your middle finger around (up and down, side to side, counterclockwise) whatever pleases you most.. rub gently up and down.. now after awhile your pussy will get used to your fingers, now is time for your middle finger to be a little more aggressive.. moving farther down the pussy gives you a tingley-feeling and going in and out of your hole feels really good now if your pretty gentle it might make a squeezing sound of your vagina licquids or cum (this is normal) by now your body is probably movin all around your bed with your finger be used it feels so good.. it helps to close your eyes and moan a little.. spreading your index and ring finger a little further will give you more access to rubbing.... side effects will probably give your pussy a tingle
stimulate the genitals of (someone) to give them sexual pleasure. to make yourself feel so good and tingle-y inside when your bored or horney and when you make yourself feel fucking amazing.. here's an example for girls lay backwards on a bed and spread your legs a little apart.. then put your hands in your pants (if you're wearing them) and open your vagina lips with your index finger and middle finger.. once you've opened your vagina gently move your middle finger around (up and down, side to side, counterclockwise) whatever pleases you most.. rub gently up and down.. now after awhile your pussy will get used to your fingers, now is time for your middle finger to be a little more aggressive.. moving farther down the pussy gives you a tingley-feeling and going in and out of your hole feels really good now if your pretty gentle it might make a squeezing sound of your vagina licquids or cum (this is normal) by now your body is probably movin all around your bed with your finger be used it feels so good.. it helps to close your eyes and moan a little.. spreading your index and ring finger a little further will give you more access to rubbing.... side effects will probably give your pussy a tingle
by okcatsanddogsgivemehappy May 28, 2015
Get the masturbate mug.MARK: "I don't think I'll ever be able to face my family again"
DAVE: "Shit, what happened dude?"
MARK: "Well, last night as I was pouring myself a hand-shandy, the cat walked into my room and jumped on my lap, just when I reached my vinegar strokes"
DAVE: "I'm sure he'll get over it"
MARK: "But that's not the worst part; before I could clean him off, my little sister ran in and grabbed him. Later I saw the cat walking around with a mohican while my sister kept saying something about becoming a pet stylist"
DAVE: "Wow. That truly was a masturbatastrophe"
DAVE: "Shit, what happened dude?"
MARK: "Well, last night as I was pouring myself a hand-shandy, the cat walked into my room and jumped on my lap, just when I reached my vinegar strokes"
DAVE: "I'm sure he'll get over it"
MARK: "But that's not the worst part; before I could clean him off, my little sister ran in and grabbed him. Later I saw the cat walking around with a mohican while my sister kept saying something about becoming a pet stylist"
DAVE: "Wow. That truly was a masturbatastrophe"
by Chud Brunner October 30, 2011
Get the masturbatastrophe mug.