a common yet often undiagnosed disease normally developed in but not limited to the late teens, namely freshman year of
college. Although it can be
seen in the
rare female
case, Masturbetes affects mainly males. This disease causes the testicles to produce large amounts of semen and testosterone, thus causing a drastic peak in the sexual
desire and arousal of the afflicted male, who is scientifically referred to as a Masturbetic. The most common treatment is excessive
masturbation, usually accompanied by the viewing of pornographic materials. Another symptom is increased aggressive behavior towards the female sex mostly in an attempt to receive a sort of assisted treatment from said female. Rejection can lead to the Maturbetic engaging in further self-treatment. Ejaculation reduces elevated sexual desire and semen in Masturbetics, similar to how insulin shots decrease abnormally high blood sugar in diabetics. Severe cases call for around
3-
5 rounds of intense treatment to curb desire and reduce the amount of semen to normal levels. Lubrication is advised in such cases to avoid irritation of the penile region.
"Dude...I just went to the
doctor, and I got diagnosed with masturbetes..."
"That's why you jerk off so much! that sucks man"
"Not really, I got a
doctor's note, and now that I'm a Masturbetic, I can
slap my johnson in class"
