goochtard 

a person with excessive space between their ass and their holy place.

"Yo Danny, bend over and let me tickle your gooch, bro."
"Okay, bro. Let me just take my pantaloons off."
"Hell yeah."
"Hell yeah again."
"Oh shit, you are a fucking goochtard. Get outta my casa."
"...Okay... I can respect that."

goochtard by g4lak47 February 24, 2014

Glocktard 

An individual who is utterly convinced that Glocks are the end-all-be-all of pistols. Will go on endlessly about how great Glock is, despite the fact that Glocks are cheaply-made, have terrible ergonomics, and will break and wear out much faster than they want to believe. Will turn into a complete asshole when presented with evidence that a 1911, SiG, H&K, Cz, or other weapon outperforms a Glock in any possible way. Very frequently found among (but not limited to) cops who never shot a pistol before being issued a Glock and have never or rarely shot anything else. Tend to get very embarrassed when they try out a non-Glock pistol and find that it's easier, more accurate, and more comfortable to shoot, and thus will often refuse to shoot something else when offered the chance.

Note: owning a Glock or liking Glocks does not make one a glocktard. To qualify as a glocktard, they must be downright GAY for black Tupperware guns and insistent that anybody who's not like them is a moron. Compare with SiGsucker, HKfag. Contrast with 1911 nut.

Guy 1: "That asshole won't shut up about his gay little Glock."
Guy 2: "I know. His shot groups are all over the place with that thing. I just kicked his ass with my 1911 at 25 yards, but he says my gun's a piece of shit."
Guy 1: "I outshot him with my XD, too, and he says we're retards and he's an expert."
Guy 2: "God, I fucking hate glocktard a!"

Glocktard by yt45 November 14, 2014

Goontard

GoonTard - a Portmanteau of Gooner and Retarded. Used to refer to a Chronic Compulsive Masturbator who jerks off for hours and hours and hours every day. He eventually becomes a stupid gooner and looks like he's retarded because his brain has shut down all but core functions. Most guys consider them Idiots and Morons because they have no goals or ambition other than to masturbate all day long, usually on the internet where anyone can see them.

Tim: Hey Ryan, I heard your older brother is a GoonTard

Ryan: Yeah, he's a Total GoonTard.

Tim: Does he really do nothing but masturbate all day?

Ryan: Yeah, mom and dad have given up on him. He hasn't left his sroom in 3 months, so they just slide a plate of food in there once a day.

Tim: Sorry bro.

Ryan: Yeah Me too. I'm afraid I'm gonna become a GoonTard too.

Goontard by Antonio El Pajero July 31, 2020

moochtard 

A so called friend that mooches off you and acts like a retard as if it never happened.

Don't be a moochtard! Buddy, It's so your turn to pick the tab.

moochtard by Allura August 19, 2004

Goosetard

A retarded epileptic goose that has the most spasticated fits while playing guitar in front of an audience. The fits occur mostly when he is playing his clever very own composed solo, 10 12. He dances around in the spotlight as if he's the leader of the band he's in. What a spacker!

Why is that boy spinning on the floor?

Thats Goosetard, he has to do that while he's playing his genius solo, 10 12.

Goosetard by Ednatoast Jeeganflipperwick July 28, 2009

Goochcandle 

A waxy build up of smegma that forms between the anus and the scrotum, on the gooch. Left uncleaned it can grow in size and is said to resemble a melted candle - some say that it is the prominant smell/heat of the smegma that associates it with a candle.

Dude, after Burning Man i had the biggest goochcandle .... it took 3 hours to clean, i was nearly sick.

Fuck .... it smells like a goochcandle in here.

A towel floss a day keeps a goochcandle away.

Goochcandle by CheazyE June 2, 2021

Gothtard

A word created by the combination of two other words, "gothic" and "retard".

The "gothic" style can be researched elsewhere, as can the term "retard".

"Gothtard" is a derogatory word or insult.

It implies that a person is a idiotic / insipid / stupid / moronic person who portrays a "gothic" personal style.

The term can be applied to both poser-goths and actual goths, though it is more commonly used to insult the poser types by both the goths and non-goths alike.

Many people (especially old-school goths) refer to todays "emo" movement as a plague of misdirected, ill-informed, depressed, poser "gothtards" since the "emo" movement attempts to derive several style elements from the gothic style such as facial piercings, raven black hair, a wardrobe dominated by black, and refrain from "average" society. However, it idiotically neglects many "key" gothic features.

These two movements are distinct, and should not be confused.

1. No grandma, that guy buying the band hoodie at Hot Topics isn't not a "Goth guy"! That's some miserable, wannabe. Just another silly gothtard.

2. Suzy portrays all the goth "criteria". Dresses the part. Listens to the part. Usually talks and acts the part. Conversing with her goth friends she chimes in "I want to travel to all 4 continents!". Her friends mumble "what a gothtard".

Gothtard by Me in Atlanta March 17, 2009