glad hands

Used to describe a handshake from a person who has malicious intentions, in regards to your future.

Fuck smiley glad hands
With hidden agendas
Fuck these dysfunctional,
Insecure actresses

- from "Aenima" by Tool

by Thug 4 L1f3 September 21, 2005

Mr. Glad-Hand

Somone like a politician who goes goes up and shakes everyone's hand with a great big smile. Feighned "Glad to meet ya."

Look at that jerk-off Mr. Glad-Hand cheeze-balling the crowd.

by ellmanholmes July 10, 2011

Glad Hand

ONE in the pink; FOUR in the stink... which after insertion is followed by a "Hi how are you, nice to meet you" up and down handshake type motion. When the hand is removed it seems to have a new dark brown, GLAD trash bag appearance.

" I met her at the airport on a layover; we drank at the bar and I gave her the old Glad Hand in a corner near Terminal C"

by WindoLickr February 21, 2022

smiley gladhands

As a noun, this slang term refers to individuals that are quick to offer a disingenuous handshake and smile. Although interest and affection from this person may seem legitimate, the severity of their fakery can range anywhere from half-hearted respect of social customs to malicious attempts at separating an individual or group from their money and dignity.

May also be used as an adjective, referring to the act of engaging in the above behavior.

Popularized in 1996 by Maynard James Keenan as lyrics in the song Ænema, performed by the band Tool.

"That used car salesman is being very smiley gladhands."

"I don't want to play smiley gladhands and hang out with your coworkers."

by ==jjjj=D~ August 28, 2009

gladhand

To shake hands with superficial, overzealous sincerity.

The quintessential, and most repugnant, gladhand is done with both hands around the other person's right hand.

The casino owner went around gladhanding the high rollers, hoping they would feel comfortable enough to drop a few hundred thousand.

by scoter August 23, 2012

Dummy Gladhands

An oafish or clumsy person

of course steve broke the chair, he's a total dummy gladhands

by cptftcock April 1, 2011

gladhand

Gladhands are coupling devices used to connect the service and emergency air lines from a truck or tractor ("semi") to a trailer.

The truck driver connected the air lines to the trailer by pressing the gladhands together and rotating one 90 degrees to secure the connection.

by brossow March 18, 2010