autodomer

the act of being able to domer yourself; i.e. give yourself a blowjob

note: you must be flexible

that domer can give himself a domer, so he never leaves the house

by domer October 14, 2004

Autozoner

An employee of the Autozone Corporation that is expected to know everything about your shit green Plymouth Voyager or your decaying Nissan Maxima that has thirty different engine codes, a missing fender, and various dings and dents covering its decrepit body. An autozoner must be a first-class bullshitter to conjure such ridiculous answers to questions like “what the fuck do you mean I can’t get a valve cover gasket for my Daewoo Lanos?!” or the ever so popular caliper bracket for any given jalopy. Autozoner’s whole heartily love to hear the words “I’m going to Advance” or any of the other incompetent auto part’s stores to get these ill-bred people out of our store. Autozoner’s dread the question “well, can you just come out and look at it?” just take the fucking thing to an actual mechanic you inconsiderate fuck-up.

I hate being an Autozoner.

by Fluckerstick October 11, 2008

Autozoner

A valient and courageous employee of Autozone. He goes to work each day knowing that at least once a day, for as long as he works at Autozone, someone will ask for a part for a primer grey car. The customer wil never have any year, make, or model information on the car and will often times use terms like "the stuff with the what not" to describe the part to said employee with the expectation of Autozone employees to be both on-site mechanincs and clairvoyant.

Autozoners should get paid more to deal with stupid shit.

by Corporate Messiah December 6, 2007

autodominionist

A person who believes that roads are the exclusive domain of motor vehicles. They make no allowances for bicycles or pedestrians, considering them to be road hazards. They are often even aggressive towards other vehicles, especially those smaller or slower than they are. Traffic signals and stop signs are also sources of irritation to the autodominionist. Autodominists believe that people who ride bicycles or are walking are doing so because they are poor or because their time is less important to society. They contend that cyclists should "get on the sidewalk" even though the law affords cyclists equal rights and responsibilities on the road. They admonish cyclists for riding dangerously while at the same time talking on their cell phone and trying to read the newspaper while driving. Autodomionists will drive to their destination, no matter how near it may be or how easily it may be to walk or take some other form of transportation. Autodominionist attitudes have lead to high speed roads without berms, neighborhoods without sidewalks and the demolition of neighborhoods in favor of new highways.

Some Autodominionist Quotes:

"Regardless of the obvious dangers, some people will ride bikes in San Francisco for the same reason Islamic fanatics will engage in suicide bombings -- because they are politically motivated to do so."
Rob Anderson, who also claims that bike lanes actually contribute to pollution and is initiating legal battles to stop additional bike lanes.
http://www.grist.org/news/2008/08/20/sf_bikes/?source=daily#comments

"He was crossing on the red light. I really hate jaywalkers. I despise them. Since I don't run the country, all I can do is yell at 'em. The other option is to run 'em over, but as a compassionate conservative, I would never do that."
Syndicated columnist Robert D. Novak responding to an incident where he cursed out an alleged jaywalker on a Washington DC street in 2001. In 2008 he actually struck a pedestrian crossing legally at a light.
http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0708/11985.html

"It would also be useful if there were a law against people riding bicycles in snow and icy conditions on public streets. They are a major hazard to driving in any weather, but especially in bad weather."
City of Pittsburgh Department of Public Works foreman Melanie G. Hall in a letter to the editor.
http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/08051/858708-35.stm

"cars are more likely inhabited by people with a higher value for their time."
Tyler Cowen
http://www.marginalrevolution.com/marginalrevolution/2008/07/should-the-driv.html?cid=121759150#comment-121759150

"Ride single-file!"
Christopher Thomas Thompson, just before he veered in front of a pair of cyclists and slammed on his brakes causing the cyclists to slam into the rear of his vehicle and subsequently hospitalizing both.
http://www.latimes.com/news/local/la-me-bikecrash12-2008jul12,0,3133098.story

by Geis October 21, 2008

AutoModerator

A Reddit Robot who manages your posts. He sucks. I don't like him.

AutoModerator removed your post

by Papyrus_69 January 12, 2021

autodominionist

People in cars who believe that roads are their exclusive domain and oppose any other use, e.g., bicycles.

Mandatory registration of bicycles is just another autodominionist attempt to control the roads for themselves.

by StuInMcCandless August 4, 2008

Automomeal

When you purchase and consume a meal without ever leaving your automobile.

We hit Wendy's drive through for an automomeal and ate it in the car.

by HumaneAnimal August 16, 2017