Turdpike

A turdpike is a turd stabbing stick or spear.

Turdpike is the combination of the words turd and pike.

Somtimes a turdpike is used by a dog-walker, litter collector, police and mugger.

Turd
1. a piece of excrement.
2. a mean, contemptible person.

Pike
1. a sharply pointed projection or spike.
2. the pointed end of anything, as of an arrow or a spear (still used by Beefeaters at the Tower of London)

"Don't point that fxxxing turdpike at me man, I'm no shit."

by ITman May 5, 2008

Turdpike

n. a shitty highway or road, either due to disrepair or incessantly constipated traffic

Tell my shithead boss that I'm gonna be late to my crap job because there's a pileup on the Turdpike.

by KitnWhiskers March 15, 2009

Turdpiece

Opposite of "showpiece" - something denoting failure or deserving of admonishment; total crap, garbage

The paper John turned in was a total turdpiece...but I'm not surprised because he put it together at the last minute.

by FlackDaddy October 22, 2013

Ohio Turnpike

An expedient vehicle maneuver used when one needs to defecate immediately (typically a code brown diarrhea emergency) so one is forced to pull to the side of the road. Pull far enough off on the right shoulder and slightly angle the front of the car toward the road. Open the passenger door and no one can see you from in front or behind thus enabling the pooper to squat and lose his bowels in complete privacy.

Dude, I’m gonna’ shit myself! Pull an Ohio Turnpike NOW!!!!!

by MagsMcGavin June 2, 2018

KANSAS TURDPILE

Former name of the Kansas Turnpike. In the 1970s the road was in terrible shape, and many people called it the Kansas Turdpike. I refined the word into the Kansas Turdpile. Several years later, the toll road bonds from the early 1950s were paid off, but they left the tolls on, so there were vast amounts of money for repairs. Now they are anal about repairing even the tiniest glitch, and we no longer call it the Turdpile, although I accidentally forget sometimes.

When the Kansas Turdpile opened in 1956 (it wasn't a turdpile yet, as described above), and for several years afterward, the speed limit was 80. At the same time the regular interstates in Kansas, which were vastly better designed expressways, had a speed limit of 75. Today both are 70.

by andy1 June 15, 2007

The New Jersey Turnpike

Smacking your lovers face with your dick repeatedly in a haphazard, aggressive fashion thereby inducing the disorientation and aggravation one feels while driving the New Jersey Turnpike.

"Sometimes, when the moment of our love making turns especially tender, I give Brenda The New Jersey Turnpike. Just to remind her not to take anything for granted."
"Marge wanted to know what it was like growing up in New Jersey, so I gave her the New Jersey Turnpike. 'What the fuck is your problem, asshole?' she yelled after I ruined her day. Hey, she wanted to know!"

by RoyCoup December 10, 2012

Pennsylvania Turnpike

A long highway the stretches from the West Virginia border to the New Jersey state line. It takes about 5 hours with no stops to cross it. When you first get on, you pass through Washington, Pa. Later on, after the exit for Altoona you go through 4 tunnels and end up in Harrisburg. Here, it is only another 2 hours to the border. After 1 hour more, the rest is Philadelphia suburbs, nothing to see there.

Travis: What are you doing this weekend?
Colton: I'm driving over to New Jersey
Travis: You must be taking the Pennsylvania Turnpike
Colton: I sure am.

by Gackle June 29, 2011