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Scotchy Meter 

The Scale that shows how scotchy someone is. At the top of the scale is the Scotchy Mother, then Pork Scotch. The Meter shows that no one in the Scotchy World is as Scotchy as The Scotchy Mother. She is even more scotchy than THE Pork Scotch.
Scotchy Mother: I'm the Scotchiest person in the world. The Scotchy Meter says so. I'm even Scotchier than my son, he'll never beat me.

Pork Scotch: Yes I will, Mum. Don't forget I'm a Koala.

Scotchy Mother's Wheelchair 

The vehicle used by Pork Schotch's mother who is even more Scotchy than The Porky Scotcher himself. Goofy Granny and Scotchman Porky Workie take the old bag out in the chair which is normally kept in the half car but was taken out for comical photographs.
Mickus: The Scotchers just left in the half car, lets take some photos in the Scotchy Mother's Wheelchair.

Monkus: Ok. I'd love to meet the old hag, I hear it's even more scotchy than Fishy MacSwell.

Mickus: Really? Must be very Scotchy then!

Scotchy Mother 

A disgusting old hag with hairs growing out of the wrinkles on its liver spots. She is the mother Pork Scotch and even more scotchy than the Porky Scotcher himself. It is constantly driven around in the Scotchy Mother Wheelchair by Scotchman and Goofy Granny.
Monk: The chair's there! Is the Scotchy Mother here?

Mick: No. Porky just took it out of the half car while he was raising the back seat to make it a bed.

Scotchy's Shit-Wagon

Alternative name for the Pork Scotch Van or half-car after a huge frozen dump was put on the roof of it. The crap thawed out overnight and was nicely baking in the sun the next day before the Scotchers emerged for their daily jaunt to buy barbecue food. Scotchy didn't spot it at first so he drove round with a turd just a few inches from his fat bald koala head.
Bloody hell what's that I can smell?

That'll be Scotchy's Shit-Wagon. He still hasn't persuaded Goofy Granny to clean it off.

Filthy old bastard.

Scotchy Mother's Wheelchair 

The vehicle of the Porky Scotcher's mother which the important security guard takes her out in. This chair has appeared in comedy photographs taken by Monkus and Mickus.
Quick Monk, get in the Scotchy Mother's Wheelchair before Goofy Granny gets back and I'll take a photo.
A male administrator with a hairy physical appearance, a fondness for cheap scotch and a penchant for buggery. Like the Anti-Midas everything he touches will inevitably turn to shit. His got to move is the Burt Reynolds '74. Occasionally he will drink too much and go starfish on your living room floor. This person will use his position of power to offer oral sex to his male employees. This offer will often induce involuntary vomitting from the intended victim. Incredibly, Scotchy will not be reprimanded for this behavior by his superiors, which will allow him to search out more male suitors.
Scotchy was sitting there in a Burt Reynolds '74 pose and he told me that since he grew up in a more liberal time he wanted to give me a blow job. I then started puking like crazy.
Scotchy by Ronaldson February 5, 2010