Materporn
Materporn by Supahnibbah February 27, 2020
Words you can keep
Lorenzo Von Matterhorn
Lorenzo Von Matterhorn was born in Switzerland in the spring of 1974. He was placed in a basket and tossed into a river immediately following his birth. After traveling downstream for miles, he was found by a young Milanese woman who raised him, naming his Lorenzo after her father, and Von Matterhorn to reflect his Swiss heritage.
Lorenzo was diagnosed with a condition called phallumegally (bigness of penis) at a young age. He grew up unable to ride a bike or feel comfortable in a locker room or a regular pair of shorts. He has applied for penis reduction surgery many times, but the doctors have said that, sadly, that is not an option.
He is the founder of Von Matterhorn Industries International Unlimited Global Inc., or VMIIUGI, and was once named billionaire of the week by Big Business Journal.
See The Lorenzo Von Matterhorn.
Lorenzo was diagnosed with a condition called phallumegally (bigness of penis) at a young age. He grew up unable to ride a bike or feel comfortable in a locker room or a regular pair of shorts. He has applied for penis reduction surgery many times, but the doctors have said that, sadly, that is not an option.
He is the founder of Von Matterhorn Industries International Unlimited Global Inc., or VMIIUGI, and was once named billionaire of the week by Big Business Journal.
See The Lorenzo Von Matterhorn.
Lorenzo Von Matterhorn by lilypotter56 July 25, 2012
Related Words
The Lorenzo Von Matterhorn
To perform the Lorenzo Von Matterhorn, here's what you'll need: basic knowledge of website design and a very unique fake name. So, think of your fake name right now. Have you got it? Good.
Now, select your target, preferably a girl with a real nice phone.
The dialogue that follows should go something like this.
You: "Yeah. It's me."
Girl: "Do I know you?"
You: "I'm Lorenzo Von Matterhorn."
Girl: "Are you, like, famous, or something?"
You: "Yes... You really don't know who I am, do you? What a refreshing change of pace. Nice to meet you..."
Girl: "Shelley."
You: "Shelley. Once again, I'm Lorenzo Von Matterhorn. Spelled like it sounds: two t's. Lorenzo. Von Matterhorn. Ciao."
Then, as soon as you're gone, she gets out her phone and does an internet search for Lorenzo Von Matterhorn. And that's when she discovers a series of fake websites, all devoted to the incredible life of Lorenzo Von Matterhorn. There's a fake business article about Lorenzo, the reclusive billionaire. The fake explorers club newsletter describing his balloon trip to the North Pole as a feat of pure daring and imagination. The fake medical journal featuring a heart-breaking story of doctors telling him penis reduction surgery isn't an option. And by the time you get back...
You: "Hi. Shelley, uh, I hate to be forward, but can I buy you a cup of coffee?"
Girl: "Yes! Please."
You: "What does coffee go for these days? Fifty dollars?"
Girl: "Oh, Lorenzo."
And it is on.
Now, select your target, preferably a girl with a real nice phone.
The dialogue that follows should go something like this.
You: "Yeah. It's me."
Girl: "Do I know you?"
You: "I'm Lorenzo Von Matterhorn."
Girl: "Are you, like, famous, or something?"
You: "Yes... You really don't know who I am, do you? What a refreshing change of pace. Nice to meet you..."
Girl: "Shelley."
You: "Shelley. Once again, I'm Lorenzo Von Matterhorn. Spelled like it sounds: two t's. Lorenzo. Von Matterhorn. Ciao."
Then, as soon as you're gone, she gets out her phone and does an internet search for Lorenzo Von Matterhorn. And that's when she discovers a series of fake websites, all devoted to the incredible life of Lorenzo Von Matterhorn. There's a fake business article about Lorenzo, the reclusive billionaire. The fake explorers club newsletter describing his balloon trip to the North Pole as a feat of pure daring and imagination. The fake medical journal featuring a heart-breaking story of doctors telling him penis reduction surgery isn't an option. And by the time you get back...
You: "Hi. Shelley, uh, I hate to be forward, but can I buy you a cup of coffee?"
Girl: "Yes! Please."
You: "What does coffee go for these days? Fifty dollars?"
Girl: "Oh, Lorenzo."
And it is on.
Did you see that? Barney totally just pulled off The Lorenzo Von Matterhorn. He's bringing the girl up to his room right now!
The Lorenzo Von Matterhorn by lilypotter56 April 19, 2011
Lorenzo Von Matterhorn
A play to run on girls to get the business.
1st: Have an ability in website design and think of a unique fake name. Have you got yours? Good!
Now when you get to the bar look for a girl with a really nice phone. Approach her with confidence and repeat your fake name often. Now when you leave she will go on her phone and do an internet search of you, where she'll see......
a series of fake websites talking about your many feats in being a billionaire, global balloon trekker, and being told by doctors that penis reduction surgery isn't an option.
give her some time then approach her again and ask if she would like to have coffee.
1st: Have an ability in website design and think of a unique fake name. Have you got yours? Good!
Now when you get to the bar look for a girl with a really nice phone. Approach her with confidence and repeat your fake name often. Now when you leave she will go on her phone and do an internet search of you, where she'll see......
a series of fake websites talking about your many feats in being a billionaire, global balloon trekker, and being told by doctors that penis reduction surgery isn't an option.
give her some time then approach her again and ask if she would like to have coffee.
Lorenzo Von Matterhorn by lesbihonestttt June 9, 2013
Matterhorn
Guy 1: "Hey Jimmy, do you remember when you Matterhorned that girl last year?"
Guy 2: "Yeah, it was totes awesome. She was hard to steer. Wish she took the curves better."
Guy 2: "Yeah, it was totes awesome. She was hard to steer. Wish she took the curves better."
Matterhorn by TWSS12345 May 22, 2010
Lorenzo Von Matterhorn
From the Playbook written by Barney Stinson.
An alternate personality of Barny Stinson (How I met your mother) that helps him become a (Fake) world renowned billionaire.
An alternate personality of Barny Stinson (How I met your mother) that helps him become a (Fake) world renowned billionaire.
Lorenzo Von Matterhorn by RomeAngel March 25, 2011
Matterhorn
A crap that sticks half out of the toilet water, the way the Matterhorn's tip appears when it's pierces through high cloud cover.
My Thanksgiving shit was sticking out of the toilet so far it looked like the Matterhorn on a cloudy day.
Matterhorn by Nagas Lrac December 16, 2010
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green inexperienced youthful judgement and cold blooded execution of those judgements.
Rashness with little concern of consequence.
Antony and Cleopatra. William Shakespeare
"My salad days,
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Rashness with little concern of consequence.
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"My salad days,
When I was green in judgment, cold in blood."
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A)
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B)
Can also be used to gross out Non-Techie people
The Crud that collects under the keys in a keyboard. Usually more severe in the keyboards of programmers and webmasters as they tend to spend a lot of time at the the computer and thus eat at their desk. Mainly affecting IBM Model M (clicly) style boards.
B)
Can also be used to gross out Non-Techie people
A)
Bill: want to go to the club?
Bob: No, I've got to clean out my board chow, keys are starting to stick.
B)
Bill: Want to go out to get a bite?
Bob: No, i am just going to have some of my board chow/
Bill: Whats' that?
Bob: The food scraps that collect in my keyboard; Want some?
Bill: *GAG* *HURL* *GAG*
Bill: want to go to the club?
Bob: No, I've got to clean out my board chow, keys are starting to stick.
B)
Bill: Want to go out to get a bite?
Bob: No, i am just going to have some of my board chow/
Bill: Whats' that?
Bob: The food scraps that collect in my keyboard; Want some?
Bill: *GAG* *HURL* *GAG*
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