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Exasturbation 

1. To make a problem or situation worse by masturbating to it. This can be done by either masturbating to the people involved, or the predicament itself.
2. To make a problem or situation worse by masturbating.
Exasturbate is a cross between the words masturbate and the dictionary definition of exacerbate
1. Pete did not realize that he was only making his recent divorce to his ex-wife far more painful by excessively masturbating to her topless bakini photos from the time they spent their honeymoon at a nude beach in France. Pete's exasturbation eventually led him to commit suicide.
2. Johnny really wants to shape up, find a job and become an active member of society. Unfortunately his excessive masturbating is preventing him from finding a productive use of his time. If Johnny really wants to stop living his life cum to cum, he will need to end his destructive exasturbating immediately.

earsturbation 

The act of fingering your ear in such a fast manner that it will produce an eargasm so intense, your eardrum will explode. Side effects include a white noise type of porno sound in the fappear's head, but only for a limited amount of time.
I caught my son fingering his ear last night.. I didn't know earsturbation was even possible at his age.
earsturbation by dirtysquirtle September 29, 2014

exsturbation 

1. The Act of engaging in a mental fantasy concerning Maturbation resulting in accidental climax after having become EX-masturbatory (i.e. for Lent, Life, 5 minutes)

or more commonly...

2. The act of Masterbating to the thought of an Ex-Lover (usually accompanied by tears of lonliness and often hatred)
2 1/2. Or even Masturbating with an Ex-Lover.
3. And Finally Masturbating an Ex-Lover.
(Phone Conversation involving exsturbation)

No I'm fine Bill, I mean Yeah, I think about her sometimes but... you know... Its been a year now... yeah still a bit Angry, I mean Herpes doesn't just clear up over night you know..! (nervous laugh) ha, ha-ha... (gaining in volime) YEAH well I... I MEAN I EXSTURBATED-ALL-OVER-HER-FUCKING-CAR YESTERDAY...so yeah... feeling much better
exsturbation by Octopusswah June 28, 2006

earsturbation 

The intensely pleasurable act associated with cleaning one's ear with a cotton bud or relieving an itch with your finger or similarly shaped object.
Man: (moan)
Woman: Honey, you've been in the bathroom for 20 minutes now; is everything ok?
Man: Yeah, babe, I'm just enjoying a bit of earsturbation... I'll be out as soon as I finish the other ear! (moan)
Woman: Hey, pass me a Q-tip and I'll join you!
Man and Woman: (moan)
earsturbation by mfort November 30, 2009

exasturbation 

Pleasuring oneself with inordinate or excessive frequency, if such a thing is possible.
After finally landing in prison, it was poetic justice when Short Eyes was taught that sodomy is exasturbation's scarier, more aggressive, inbred homo cousin.
exasturbation by Sluggo December 18, 2004

emosterbating 

A word invented by Casey which describes what you do when someone says they don't want to be your partner but continues to act like they do. This causes you 'play' with your emotions. By yourself. Shamefully.
" She said she likes me but doesn't want to be my girlfriend, but yesterday when we were watching a movie she kept leaning on me and putting her had on my leg. Maybe she really does like me! Or maybe she doesn't..but she might..maybe she's got trust issues and I just need to be patient. Or maybe it's because..etc,etc."

"Stop emosterbating and eat your pizza"
emosterbating by T; May 22, 2008
More from Urban Dictionary

Literally 1984 

Used in response for when someone promotes/advocates an event or idea that is perceived to support "too much" authority and/or government control.

Often used jokingly as a over-exaggeration in political talk.

Can also be used in response to a ban or mute in a forum site or online chat.
Steve: I think that the government should regulate businesses more
Bob: Literally 1984!

--User1 has been permantly banned--
User2: You cant ban my friend like that! Literally 1984!
Literally 1984 by ke1 July 7, 2021
Word of the Day on September 1, 2026

Back when I lived in upstate new york 

A meaningless, unimpressive, self-serving introduction. An indicator that the story about to be shared will be pointless and dumb.
Back when I lived in upstate new york, I also had to park on the street - on two occasions, we got enough snow, mixed with just the right plowing, that my car was lifted off the ground from so much snow being jammed underneath it.
Word of the Day on August 31, 2026
Acronym, meaning Too Long Didn't Understand
Similar to TLDR
Sister: This meeting was to discuss the rough draft of my essay, where we discussed the subsidiary questions I added in my rough draft. We also discussed the relationship between my main title and the real-life situations I chose to use in my essay. We discussed the structure of my essay as well, specifically the Math AOK section and how it relates to the contradiction of the title. This second meeting was particularly helpful in discussing the implications of my essay claims and how to apply the title across various areas of knowledge. There were many sections of the essay that could have been cut down in wordiness and the ways of knowing required further and more in-depth analysis.

Me: Woah! TLDU!
TLDU by L-Evans January 14, 2019
Word of the Day on August 30, 2026
the act of having anonymous sexual encounters with other men in public toilets.
Cottaging by greeef April 24, 2003
Word of the Day on August 29, 2026

Salad Days 

green inexperienced youthful judgement and cold blooded execution of those judgements.

Rashness with little concern of consequence.

Antony and Cleopatra. William Shakespeare

"My salad days,
When I was green in judgment, cold in blood."

- William Shakespeare, Antony and Cleopatra, 1.5
"How did you end up in jail?"

"Salad days, 'nuf said."
Salad Days by GilbyRFC0 October 7, 2011
Word of the Day on August 28, 2026

age gate 

An absolutely foolproof way to keep minors from viewing content deemed "too mature" for them to watch.
Billy: "So I was trying to watch some videos for an M rated game, and I ran into an age gate, so I put in my real birthday. SOMEHOW it managed to figure out that I am 12. CURSE YOU AGE GATE!!!"

Bill: "Fucking age gate! *quick scroll* THERE! I was born on January 1, 1904. Fuck you age gate."
age gate by Banja January 7, 2011
Word of the Day on August 27, 2026
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