8 definitions by Octopusswah

Fucking annoying amalgamation of 'Squeeze' and 'Excuse me'.

Perhaps used to be cool, when I was about 5, but is now used by timid fat women at work who want you to move, are passive aggressive and go all red in the face before they say it because really they want to hit you in the head with a broken bottle.

Inside Timid Woman's Head:
"This fat fucking cunt I want to finger fuck her whole family"

Outloud in a high-pitched whine:
"Exsqueeze me"
perhaps some more 'e's can be added:
"Exqueeeeeeeeze me"
by Octopusswah June 29, 2006
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1. The Act of engaging in a mental fantasy concerning Maturbation resulting in accidental climax after having become EX-masturbatory (i.e. for Lent, Life, 5 minutes)

or more commonly...

2. The act of Masterbating to the thought of an Ex-Lover (usually accompanied by tears of lonliness and often hatred)
2 1/2. Or even Masturbating with an Ex-Lover.
3. And Finally Masturbating an Ex-Lover.
(Phone Conversation involving exsturbation)

No I'm fine Bill, I mean Yeah, I think about her sometimes but... you know... Its been a year now... yeah still a bit Angry, I mean Herpes doesn't just clear up over night you know..! (nervous laugh) ha, ha-ha... (gaining in volime) YEAH well I... I MEAN I EXSTURBATED-ALL-OVER-HER-FUCKING-CAR YESTERDAY...so yeah... feeling much better
by Octopusswah June 28, 2006
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An individual who somehow manages to be both Fat, and Annoying simultaneously.
"Look, it's Michael Moore,
how Fatnoying, someone have him removed."
by Octopusswah July 23, 2006
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A wad of any secretion emitted from a dog, such as drool, crap, urine, Dog-Jizz, snot, foam (rabid dog) etc
"You're going to have to wait Five more minutes... Snuffles blew a Dog-Wad on my wedding dress"

"I stepped in a Dog-Wad"

Vet: "if there is an excess of Dog-Wad issuing from Snuffles' mouth bring him back for a check-up"
by Octopusswah August 2, 2006
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An incredibly Big Maggot
"There's a Biggot in my Salad"
by Octopusswah June 30, 2006
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Means a phallus. With attention drawn to meatiness, fleshiness and edibility. big giant squishy willy... oh yeah

Used by Jamie Theakston (he IS a celebrity, just a lame one).
"...and lo he drew forth his luncheon meat truncheon and jabbed at the gushing slot..."
by Octopusswah June 28, 2006
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It means lead me astray, show me, distract me, influence me, or tell me lies tell me sweet little lies.
Sometimes expressed in a similar tone to the phrase 'gimme a break'.
Overall, Take me away from what is happening how.
Me and my brother walk in on Mum Fellating Dad.
'Euugh sick, lead me on.'

My brother: 'I can fly kick Mum's freshly baked cake'
'Go on, Let's See, What are you waiting for, Lead me on'

Not a relation: 'I can induce orgasm using only my facial expressions'
'You can Lead me on'
by Octopusswah May 22, 2008
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