exsturbation

1. The Act of engaging in a mental fantasy concerning Maturbation resulting in accidental climax after having become EX-masturbatory (i.e. for Lent, Life, 5 minutes)

or more commonly...

2. The act of Masterbating to the thought of an Ex-Lover (usually accompanied by tears of lonliness and often hatred)
2 1/2. Or even Masturbating with an Ex-Lover.
3. And Finally Masturbating an Ex-Lover.

(Phone Conversation involving exsturbation)

No I'm fine Bill, I mean Yeah, I think about her sometimes but... you know... Its been a year now... yeah still a bit Angry, I mean Herpes doesn't just clear up over night you know..! (nervous laugh) ha, ha-ha... (gaining in volime) YEAH well I... I MEAN I EXSTURBATED-ALL-OVER-HER-FUCKING-CAR YESTERDAY...so yeah... feeling much better

by Octopusswah June 28, 2006

Exasturbation

1. To make a problem or situation worse by masturbating to it. This can be done by either masturbating to the people involved, or the predicament itself.
2. To make a problem or situation worse by masturbating.
Exasturbate is a cross between the words masturbate and the dictionary definition of exacerbate

1. Pete did not realize that he was only making his recent divorce to his ex-wife far more painful by excessively masturbating to her topless bakini photos from the time they spent their honeymoon at a nude beach in France. Pete's exasturbation eventually led him to commit suicide.
2. Johnny really wants to shape up, find a job and become an active member of society. Unfortunately his excessive masturbating is preventing him from finding a productive use of his time. If Johnny really wants to stop living his life cum to cum, he will need to end his destructive exasturbating immediately.

by Anonymouslyer May 19, 2015

Easterbation

the second coming, masterbating for a second time in quick succession

Dude 1: last night a managed to come twice
Dude 2: well done dude uve mastered Easterbation

by Xenesthad July 27, 2008

earsturbation

The act of fingering your ear in such a fast manner that it will produce an eargasm so intense, your eardrum will explode. Side effects include a white noise type of porno sound in the fappear's head, but only for a limited amount of time.

I caught my son fingering his ear last night.. I didn't know earsturbation was even possible at his age.

by dirtysquirtle September 29, 2014

Emosturbation

When an emo kid masturbates and uses his tears and/or mascara as a lubricant.

After being dumped by his girlfriend Rod went home and hoped an emosturbation session would make him feel better.

by Gregus1032 December 20, 2008

earsturbation

The intensely pleasurable act associated with cleaning one's ear with a cotton bud or relieving an itch with your finger or similarly shaped object.

Man: (moan)
Woman: Honey, you've been in the bathroom for 20 minutes now; is everything ok?
Man: Yeah, babe, I'm just enjoying a bit of earsturbation... I'll be out as soon as I finish the other ear! (moan)
Woman: Hey, pass me a Q-tip and I'll join you!
Man and Woman: (moan)

by mfort November 30, 2009

exasturbation

Pleasuring oneself with inordinate or excessive frequency, if such a thing is possible.

After finally landing in prison, it was poetic justice when Short Eyes was taught that sodomy is exasturbation's scarier, more aggressive, inbred homo cousin.

by Sluggo December 18, 2004