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Douchician

\doosh-ish-en\ n.

An adolescent male douchebag, who poorly performs douchey songs in an attempt to impress girls and/or douche whores; despite not having any real musical talent.

Common Characteristics of Douchicians:

- the guitar is the instrument of choice for most douchicians
- douchicians will bring a guitar even if it is not appropriate
- most douchicians have shaggy hair
- douchicians rarely wear shoes when performing outdoors
- douchicians will seize all opportunites to go shirtless

Top 5 Songs Frequently Played by Douchicians:

1. "Original" songs, with a "borrowed" melody, about an ex
2. Wonderwall - Oasis
3. Hey There Delilah - Plain White T's
4. The intro to Stairway to Heaven - Led Zeppelin
5. Time of Your Life - Green Day
Person 1: Why does that guy always bring his guitar and sing "Hey there Delilah" by Plain White T's?

Person 2: He's a douchician, and that's just what douchicians do.

Person 1: Well, he could at least put his shirt back on. I can't believe some of those girls are actually impressed.

Person 2: Those are just stupid douche whores, and douche whores go crazy over douchicians.

Perfect Example of a Douchician:

Family Guy, "Stewie Kills Louis". Season: 6 Episode: 4 of the animated sitcom, shows a short clip of a "douche bag" playing a guitar. The clip comes just after Stewie realizes that he never follows through with any of his plans to kill Louis. The animated clip can be found online at popular video sharing sites.
by TitsMagee10249 November 22, 2010
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Douchecanoe

It's a lightweight craft used by douches to move around on the figurative conversational currents to spread their message of doucheness to new individuals who were blissfully unaware of their existence. It also has cupholders, which is the only redeeming quality of the douchecanoe.
"Wow, did you hear what Jim had to say at the party last night?"
"Yeah, he came from nowhere on his douchecanoe and made everyone feel uncomfortable."
by BounceTigger May 6, 2013
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Douchiano

a boss who thinks he's pretty legit, but really isn't.
new co-worker: Man, that guy seems great to work for the way he looks like Johnny Depp and wears sleeveless t-shirts.
worker: No way. He yells a lot and makes us cry.

new co-worker: Thanks for the heads up. What a Douchiano.
by KSTA August 24, 2018
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Douchecano

From Douche and Volcano.

A particularly dangerous form of erupting douche that can go off without warning and expose innocent people for miles around to unsafe levels of douchery.
Oh man that guy on the train was such a fucktard , he managed to piss off everyone in the carriage, what a Douchecano
by The Mechanical Turk March 15, 2011
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douchecanoe

A person that is so douchey, said douchey-ness travels cross bodies of water.
Check out that douchecanoe... I bet they can see his Ed Hardy shorts from hawaii.
by donkitat November 2, 2010
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douchicorn

n. A douchbag so rare that it borders on the mythical. The douchicorn is able to take on many forms, only appears for a few seconds randomly at meat markets, and is usually wearing sunglasses inside at night and sports douchie hair. After seeing a douchicorn one may question if it was really there or a figment of their imagination.
You: Oh my god I think that's the biggest douche I've ever seen in my life.

Friend: Holy Shit you're right!

You: Where did he go?

Friend: Either we both dropped acid and don't remember, or we just witnessed the Douchicorn.
by djsquared1 October 12, 2009
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Douchecanoe

when a person is so douchey they are equal to about 50 douchebags, therefore a canoe would be needed.

It is much larger than most other forms of douches
Kyle Benger is a Douchecanoe
by wishshedidntknowanydouchecanoe November 20, 2010
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