Douchecrat 

Pronounced DOO-SHA-CRAT.

The lethal combination of an arrogant and obnoxious douche, an obstructionist paper-pusher bureaucrat lacking competence and accountability; and a career-railroading office snake. Often confused with doucheacrat, douchecrat is not affiliated with any political party. They can be a government, non-profit or private sector employee or manager that prioritizes their own standing ahead of their team’s, department’s, or organization’s well-being.

Often created by under-developed and incompetent managers, Douchecrats exhibit the following behaviors:

· Perpetuates problems they are supposed to solve.
· Delegates all of responsibilities but retains power
· Is often too busy looking too busy
· Sports a shit-eating grin as they obstruct your ability to do your job, your promotion potential, while slowly pushing you out
· Preys on those deemed inferior and deceitfully wins loyalty from management

I asked John for advice on leveraging my event planning skills and downtime to help our team plan a successful conference. Our boss subsequently scolded me, for according to John "trying to go over her head." Now my boss refuses to talk to me and relies on him for everything. I hear that he’s now in the running to get that promotion instead of me – what a fucking douchecrat!

Douchecrat by Douchecrat November 15, 2018

Douchecraftcarrier 

1)Someone who has far surpassed the level of just being called a douchebag or douchewagon.
2)An elite level of assholishness.

"He's not even a douchewagon...he's a Douchecraftcarrier!"

Douchecraftcarrier by spunkygizmo August 21, 2008

Douchecammer 

Someone who installs a dashcam on their car so they can purposefully drive like a douche.

That douchecammer could have easily avoided the accident but chose not to because it was on camera.

Douchecammer by Vampyre Byte July 31, 2019

Douchecanoe

It's a lightweight craft used by douches to move around on the figurative conversational currents to spread their message of doucheness to new individuals who were blissfully unaware of their existence. It also has cupholders, which is the only redeeming quality of the douchecanoe.

"Wow, did you hear what Jim had to say at the party last night?"
"Yeah, he came from nowhere on his douchecanoe and made everyone feel uncomfortable."

Douchecanoe by BounceTigger May 6, 2013

douchecadet 

A junior douche. One who is almost a douche.

I wouldn't go as far as to say that he's a douche, but he certainly qualifies as a douchecadet.

douchecadet by Michael LeSuer April 13, 2007

douchebragg 

A friend who, about once a week, is very difficult to get on with, usually by being introverted, quiet, and generally weird.

Person 1: Caitlin can't come out as she is busy this evening...
Person 2: Doing what?
Person 1: Oh breathing I think.
Person 2: What a douchebragg!

douchebragg by KenBrownsey4life May 20, 2009

douchecepticon 

When someone is a Megatron sized douche.

That dude is a douchecepticon.

douchecepticon by projectmeltamouse January 20, 2011