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crassturbation

The act of masturbating at an extremely inappropriate time, with little respect for the feelings of others in the vicinity
John: Bob, we're at a fucking funeral, stop jerking off in the corner!
Bob: Why? Masturbation is perfectly healthy!
John: That's not masturbation, that's crassturbation.
Bob What's that?
John: Look it up on Urban Dictionary.
crassturbation by derpymuffins June 18, 2014

Crysturbating 

Seeking comfort and solace through masturbating while being upset over something..
Having been denied sex by his wife for the 34th night in a row John was spending the evening crysturbating to Nancy Grace on tv
Crysturbating by Edo8! February 19, 2009

Casturbation

Casturbation relates to the art of masturbating whilst wearing a cast (caused from broken bones somewhere between the individuals wrists and shoulders).
It can often require a lot of patience and training depending on the size and location of the cast.
Dan: Must be hard for you, being single for the last 7 months and not even able to choke the chicken with that broken wrist?
Jeff: It was rough for the first month, but casturbation is really my only option
Casturbation by neilsonz January 27, 2009

Crasturbating 

Crying whilst masturbating. Mostly over departed girlfriends.
Kevins crasturbating over Katie.

Catsturbation 

The act of masturbating only to open one's eyes to the judgmental stare of one's cat
Fluffy walked in on me again...So I guess catsturbation is my thing now. I really need to get a girlfriend.
Catsturbation by hightowers April 17, 2011

Crysterbation 

Mike was so upset that his girlfriend cheated on him that he spent the entire night crysterbating while listening to The Cure.

Larry is really into crysterbation, especially since his wife left him.
Crysterbation by Jizzonneh December 12, 2007