Cry-sturbation

A jealousy-induced form of regretful masturbation; usually occurs after one realizes their ex no longer wants them and/or after seeing them "getting it in" with a new lover.

Dude is Devin crying? ...Dude is Devin masturbating? Oh Shit! That poor bastard's cry-sturbating!

After seeing his ex playing tonsil hockey with her new man at the superbowl party, Devin scampered away to his room for an all night session of loud & painfully pleasant cry-sturbation.

by Florida Dwarf Killer March 4, 2011

Crysturbating

Seeking comfort and solace through masturbating while being upset over something..

Having been denied sex by his wife for the 34th night in a row John was spending the evening crysturbating to Nancy Grace on tv

by Edo8! February 19, 2009

Crysterbation

Crying whist masturbating.

Mike was so upset that his girlfriend cheated on him that he spent the entire night crysterbating while listening to The Cure.

Larry is really into crysterbation, especially since his wife left him.

by Jizzonneh December 12, 2007

Crysterbation

1.Verb- crying whilst in the process of masturbation.

2.Noun- see above

Portrayed accurately in Little Ashes by Robert Pattinson when his gay lover hooks up with the girl he loves while he is in the room (confused yet? Don't be, basically Robert Pattinson is incapable of playing a character that questions his sexuality) (oh by the way, Little Ashes is an accurate portrayl of Salvador Dali's life, soooo as far as I know, Salvador Dali is the only case of crysterbation in mass media. More win for surrealists) "I thought he was simply crying in his room until he ran out of breath and I heard something else; he was clearly crysterbating."

by Salvador Dali win December 23, 2010

crysterbation

when you cry whilst masterbating

your on the north pole your tears are frozen....crysterbation

by jarnzy November 29, 2010

Crysturbating

To masturbate using the tears of oneself, or another.

Billy's gambling addition became a never ending cycle of crying, masturbating, and ultimately, crysturbating his woes away, along with bank account contents.

by TPH007 June 14, 2015

Crysturbation

When one needs to cry, and uses sad fan fiction to help.

When she needs to cry, she uses sad Muke fan fiction to help her through her session of crysturbation.

by BruhItsLoganIdk October 24, 2015