Mike was so upset that his girlfriend cheated on him that he spent the entire night crysterbating while listening to The Cure.
Larry is really into crysterbation, especially since his wife left him.
Larry is really into crysterbation, especially since his wife left him.
by Jizzonneh November 15, 2007
Portrayed accurately in Little Ashes by Robert Pattinson when his gay lover hooks up with the girl he loves while he is in the room (confused yet? Don't be, basically Robert Pattinson is incapable of playing a character that questions his sexuality) (oh by the way, Little Ashes is an accurate portrayl of Salvador Dali's life, soooo as far as I know, Salvador Dali is the only case of crysterbation in mass media. More win for surrealists) "I thought he was simply crying in his room until he ran out of breath and I heard something else; he was clearly crysterbating."
by Salvador Dali win December 23, 2010
Hey man, That sucks that Sarah dumped you but you can stop locking you self in the bathroom to crysterbate, tears wont get you off any faster
by leTed July 29, 2008
To masturbate whilst sobbing in a torrid combination of lust and anguish. Presumably a growing trend among the emo crowd.
The night Becky broke up with me I got home and just crysterbated to old pictures of her for hours until I finally passed out in my computer chair, still gripping my dick in my tear/semen stained hands.
by Mo Higgins May 24, 2007
1)When you are sad and horny at the same time, you crysterbate. Crying while jerking it.
2)Christerbate same as crysterbate but doing a Jesus Christ pose.
2)Christerbate same as crysterbate but doing a Jesus Christ pose.
by Evan Bahler February 3, 2020
"Dude, you hear Bob's gf broke up with him last night before sex?"
"Yeah, he's probably in a crysterbate session right now."
"Yeah, he's probably in a crysterbate session right now."
by Zokwhat April 28, 2014
Verb: To Crysterbate
Cry-sterbating is when a guy stands in a corner, crying using his own tears as lube while he jerks off sobbing, nuts into a teaspoon, drinks the nut because he's low on zinc, and then sits in the fetal position rocking back and forth wondering "When the hell did my life get so depressing?" Then he remembers and does it all again. Just like shampoo directions, rinse, wash, and repeat.
Billy: Wheres Dillon?
Josh: He's probably at home cry-sterbating again
Cry-sterbating is when a guy stands in a corner, crying using his own tears as lube while he jerks off sobbing, nuts into a teaspoon, drinks the nut because he's low on zinc, and then sits in the fetal position rocking back and forth wondering "When the hell did my life get so depressing?" Then he remembers and does it all again. Just like shampoo directions, rinse, wash, and repeat.
Billy: Wheres Dillon?
Josh: He's probably at home cry-sterbating again
Dillon tends to crysterbate instead of masturbating because his life is so fucked up. Plus he's low on zinc.
by Trip Wilson May 30, 2017