English 

A language Samuel L. Jackson speaks.

"English Motherfucker! Do You Speak It!?"

Or as Samuel L. Jackson would say in Kingsman: The Secret Service:

"Englis Motherfucker! Do You Speak Ith?"

English by nomanito May 14, 2016

English 

a language that lurks in dark alleys, beats up other languages and rifles through their pockets for spare vocabulary

That word didn't used to be part of english.

English by j-narrah November 13, 2003

English 

Either means the people of England or a sadly mangled language. Once belonging to the Germanic Anglo-Saxons, the language has since become influenced by scores of other languages, slowly destroying the English language and its structure and rules.

Shanty (From Gaelic "Sean taigh"("old house")), galore (from Gaelic "gu leòr" ("enough")), whiskey (from Gaelic "uisge" ("water")), hamburger (from "Hamburg steak"), flower (from French "fleur", itself from Latin "flor"), bloom (from German "blum" ("flower")) and countless other words from so many other languages have, for better or worse, steeped into English.

"Let’s face it: English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant or ham in hamburger, neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
English muffins were not invented in England or french fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies, while sweetbreads, which aren’t sweet, are meat.
We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write, but fingers don’t fing, grocers don’t groce, and hammers don’t ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn’t the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So, one moose, 2 meese? One index, two indices? Is cheese the plural of choose?
If teachers taught, why didn’t preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? Park on driveways and drive on parkways?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? How can the weather be hot as hell one day an cold as hell another?
When a house burns up, it burns down. You fill in a form by filling it out and an alarm clock goes off by going on.
When the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it?
Now I know why I flunked my English. It’s not my fault; the silly language doesn’t quite know whether it’s coming or going." -Richard Lederer.

English by Lorelili March 28, 2005

English 

Language used by Boomers so ignorant Gamers won't know what their grandparents are talking about. Usually words that contain more than one syllable and spelled correctly when written with pen and paper - secret tools that Gamers don't recognize. This language is known to a few Gamers that have an IQ over 89 which is only about 5% of Video Turds. A legend in Boomer history says that sometimes a Zoomer will scream out an English word as they beat off.

Hey, let's talk in English when we get some this afternoon so our grandson won't know we're having sex instead of taking a nap.

English by Yeahbutthis Istrue March 21, 2020

English 

West germanic language

English speakish you
Yes I speake english

English by thrgere August 11, 2020

English 

The language that former Pres. George W. Bush is still trying to learn.

Bush's rape of the English language:

"They misunderestimated me."
"Education is my top priority. However, education is not my top priotrity."

"Border relations between Canada and Mexico have never been better. "

English by Eliyon July 11, 2009

english 

the most expressive language on the face of the earth. although widely insulted for it's strange spelling and grammar, no other major language on earth can convey ideas as precisely or as diversely as the english language. This is largely because of the huge amount of words that make up the english language, which dwarfs the vocabularies of other languages by comparison.

it's name is derived from the anglo-saxons.
anglo-saxon--->anglish--->english

as a kid i grew up speaking spanish. thankfully, i learned english and now i only speak spanish when i have no other choice.

english by bobertdude December 30, 2007