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Along with Philosophy and Int'l Relations, English is arguably the most difficult college major in the Humanities. This is largely due to the fact that being an English major encompasses the study of several other fields, including, but not limited to philosophy, psychology, history, sociology, law, and political science. English majors read and write far more than any other major, and offen suffer from severe caffeine addiction (or worse), insomnia, and manic depression.

Despite what lobotomized Business Majors believe, English majors (like many humanities majors) seek graduate school enrollment and end up with J.D.s, M.B.A.s, L.L.M.s, or Ph.D.s. Thus, they end up in lucrative careers with sexyass women. But best of all, they actually learn how to think and generally live rewarding lives because of that.
English Major: "Dude, we're seniors! I can't believe how much I've learned over the past three years! How about you?"
Business Major: "Excel and Powerpoint."
English Major: "... and?"
Business Major: "That's it."
English Major: "... 3 years of college and that's all you know?"
Business Major: "Yup. But Ima still be rich."
English Major: "Sooo you essentially just paid over $100,000 for Excel and Powerpoint lessons, but you'll still be rich?"
Business Major: "Hellz yeah d00d."
English Major: *facepalm*
by collegiate5 July 09, 2010
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Defined as "trash that doesn't get you a job" by non-English majors
Jimmy: english majors are gonna be jobless, man
Tom: bruh how do you know that? Wasn't your major business?
Jimmy: I just know
Tom: how
Jimmy: shhhhhh I just know
Tom: bruh
via giphy
by I AM SARCASM January 03, 2021
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The thinking man's major. The English major excels in things like grammar, literature, critical thinking, writing, public speaking, and educating an ignorant population.
1. English majors usually go on to become brilliant professors, lawyers/judges, writers, or editors.

2. "English degrees are worthless." - soon to be unemployed business major
by ohioman234 December 07, 2009
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Someone who will not have a job after they graduate.
Whatever happened to Bobby?
He's homeless now.
Oh that's right, I forgot he's an english major.
by JanOLeary November 11, 2005
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Person 1: What major are you doing?
Person 2: I'm an English Major.
Person 1: I didn't know you wanted to be a teacher.
by Godyr March 19, 2013
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1. One who went to college to major in English.
2. One who corrects your pronunciation of anything you say.
1. What are you goin to major in? "English."
2. Kara- It's 'electricity', not 'electwicity', you idiot!
Shawn- Shut up! English Major...
by Firehazel August 22, 2009
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Someone who is well versed in useless information. Classes are usually painstakingly boring, and chanting of "Would you like whipped cream and sprinkles with that?"
"That guy that works at Starbucks is a total English Major."
by jefcar March 17, 2005
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