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by okdok September 14, 2021
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Squat Cobbler

A sexual act wherein a fully-clothed, typically costumed subject pulls his/her pants down and squats the exposed buttocks down into a pie and wiggles around while being observed or filmed. Commonly associated with fetishists.

Synonyms: Hoboken Squat Cobbler, Full Moon Pie, Boston Cream Splat, Simple Simon the Ass Man, Dutch Apple Ass.

Variants: Crybaby Squat Cobbler, in which the subject cries while performing the act.
Dee: "What the hell is a Squat Cobbler??"
Jay: "It's when a man sits in pie. He sits... in a pie. And he... wiggles around."
by SeamusOLanigan May 20, 2016
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Related Words

Hoboken Squat Cobbler

The act of someone in costume sitting on a pie and wiggling around. It is a sexual fetish and may involve crying.

Taken from Season 2 / Episode 2 of Better Call Saul
Detective 1: So, fully clothed Mr. Wormald by himself doing what?
Detective 2: Yeah, come on, man. What?
Jimmy McGill: sighs Squat cobbler.
Detective 1: What's a s-squat cobbler?
Jimmy McGill: Squat cobbler. You know what squat cobbler is.
Detective 1: No, I don't... I don't know what a squat cobbler is.
Detective 2: No, me neither. What is it?
Jimmy McGill: What? And you two guys are cops? Hoboken Squat Cobbler. Full Moon Moon Pie. Boston Crème Splat. Seriously? Simple Simon the Ass Man. Dutch Apple Ass. Guys, am I not speaking English here?
Detective 1: What the hell is a squat cobbler?!
Jimmy McGill: It's when a man sits in pie! He sits in a pie! And he... he wiggles around. Maybe it's like Hellman's Mayonnaise. It has a different name west of the Rockies. I don't know. But, uh, technically, he does a crybaby squat, so there's tears, which makes it more specialized. Not all pie sitters cry. But I'm gonna tell you something: This guy? He's a regular Julianne Moore once he gets the waterworks cranked up.
Detective 2: Pies? What? Like apple?
Jimmy McGill: Guys, I'm not the filmmaker here, all right? Banana cream. I... uh, peach. Oh, and there... And there is a costume involved.
Detective 1: snorts You've got to be shittin' us.
Jimmy McGill: Yeah, like I would make this up. Hey, the world is a rich tapestry, my friends. But trust me on this. You don't want to see it.
by zednotzee June 5, 2016
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slav squat

Refers to the squatting position often done by Russians and other slavic people while loitering/waiting outside.
I saw a Russian in a slav squat while smoking a cigarette.
by dEX August 22, 2012
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Slav Squat

Squatting with heels on ground in a tracksuit while eating semechki and drinking vodka. Legend has it that if u do this long enough u will activate the third eye of the Slav
Me and Boris had a Slav Squat session outside semechki factory
by Sidewinderxxx May 2, 2018
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Chocolate squall

The absolute torrential evacuation of the bowels, literally causing the water and liquid shit in the toilet to circle with gale force speeds, causing utter destruction to everything in the bathroom.
Dave unleashed a chocolate squall in the upstairs bathroom, causing our can ceiling lights to rain shit for a week.
by Mad Mick! September 7, 2016
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squat cobbler

An act (frequently sexual in nature) that isn't illegal but is so embarrassing that one will go to great lengths (even lying to the police) to keep it a secret. The term originated on the TV series "Better Call Saul" in reference to a specific sexual act, but may be used to describe any action that's considered embarrassing.
Detective 1: So, fully clothed Mr. Wormald by himself doing what?
Detective 2: Yeah, come on, man. What?
Jimmy McGill: sighs Squat cobbler.
Detective 1: What's a s-squat cobbler?
Jimmy McGill: Squat cobbler. You know what squat cobbler is.
Detective 1: No, I don't... I don't know what a squat cobbler is.
Detective 2: No, me neither. What is it?
Jimmy McGill: What? And you two guys are cops? Hoboken Squat Cobbler. Full Moon Moon Pie. Boston Crème Splat. Seriously? Simple Simon the Ass Man. Dutch Apple Ass. Guys, am I not speaking English here?
Detective 1: What the hell is a squat cobbler?!
Jimmy McGill: It's when a man sits in pie! He sits in a pie! And he... he wiggles around. Maybe it's like Hellman's Mayonnaise. It has a different name west of the Rockies. I don't know. But, uh, technically, he does a crybaby squat, so there's tears, which makes it more specialized. Not all pie sitters cry. But I'm gonna tell you something: This guy? He's a regular Julianne Moore once he gets the waterworks cranked up.
Detective 2: Pies? What? Like apple?
Jimmy McGill: Guys, I'm not the filmmaker here, all right? Banana cream. I... uh, peach. Oh, and there... And there is a costume involved.
Detective 1: (snorts) You've got to be shittin' us.
Jimmy McGill: Yeah, like I would make this up. Hey, the world is a rich tapestry, my friends. But trust me on this. You don't want to see it.
by Logan Hawkes July 2, 2016
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