4 definitions by Logan Hawkes
An act (frequently sexual in nature) that isn't illegal but is so embarrassing that one will go to great lengths (even lying to the police) to keep it a secret. The term originated on the TV series "Better Call Saul" in reference to a specific sexual act, but may be used to describe any action that's considered embarrassing.
Detective 1: So, fully clothed Mr. Wormald by himself doing what?
Detective 2: Yeah, come on, man. What?
Jimmy McGill: sighs Squat cobbler.
Detective 1: What's a s-squat cobbler?
Jimmy McGill: Squat cobbler. You know what squat cobbler is.
Detective 1: No, I don't... I don't know what a squat cobbler is.
Detective 2: No, me neither. What is it?
Jimmy McGill: What? And you two guys are cops? Hoboken Squat Cobbler. Full Moon Moon Pie. Boston Crème Splat. Seriously? Simple Simon the Ass Man. Dutch Apple Ass. Guys, am I not speaking English here?
Detective 1: What the hell is a squat cobbler?!
Jimmy McGill: It's when a man sits in pie! He sits in a pie! And he... he wiggles around. Maybe it's like Hellman's Mayonnaise. It has a different name west of the Rockies. I don't know. But, uh, technically, he does a crybaby squat, so there's tears, which makes it more specialized. Not all pie sitters cry. But I'm gonna tell you something: This guy? He's a regular Julianne Moore once he gets the waterworks cranked up.
Detective 2: Pies? What? Like apple?
Jimmy McGill: Guys, I'm not the filmmaker here, all right? Banana cream. I... uh, peach. Oh, and there... And there is a costume involved.
Detective 1: (snorts) You've got to be shittin' us.
Jimmy McGill: Yeah, like I would make this up. Hey, the world is a rich tapestry, my friends. But trust me on this. You don't want to see it.
Detective 2: Yeah, come on, man. What?
Jimmy McGill: sighs Squat cobbler.
Detective 1: What's a s-squat cobbler?
Jimmy McGill: Squat cobbler. You know what squat cobbler is.
Detective 1: No, I don't... I don't know what a squat cobbler is.
Detective 2: No, me neither. What is it?
Jimmy McGill: What? And you two guys are cops? Hoboken Squat Cobbler. Full Moon Moon Pie. Boston Crème Splat. Seriously? Simple Simon the Ass Man. Dutch Apple Ass. Guys, am I not speaking English here?
Detective 1: What the hell is a squat cobbler?!
Jimmy McGill: It's when a man sits in pie! He sits in a pie! And he... he wiggles around. Maybe it's like Hellman's Mayonnaise. It has a different name west of the Rockies. I don't know. But, uh, technically, he does a crybaby squat, so there's tears, which makes it more specialized. Not all pie sitters cry. But I'm gonna tell you something: This guy? He's a regular Julianne Moore once he gets the waterworks cranked up.
Detective 2: Pies? What? Like apple?
Jimmy McGill: Guys, I'm not the filmmaker here, all right? Banana cream. I... uh, peach. Oh, and there... And there is a costume involved.
Detective 1: (snorts) You've got to be shittin' us.
Jimmy McGill: Yeah, like I would make this up. Hey, the world is a rich tapestry, my friends. But trust me on this. You don't want to see it.
by Logan Hawkes March 30, 2016
"...so you see, Scotty's affectation of a Scottish accent in the original Star Trek is a reference to the dominance of the Scottish shipbuilding industry in the 19th century."
"Fine! Yes! You win! You have me spockmated! Stop talking!"
"Fine! Yes! You win! You have me spockmated! Stop talking!"
by Logan Hawkes April 18, 2006
Antonym for intervention. Where an intervention is an attempt by friends and family to convince someone to seek help with a substance abuse problem an antivention is an attempt to convince someone that they are spending too much time and energy on a generally wholesome activity and that it's affecting their drinking.
"Dude, where's Robert?" "He said he had to work." "Again? He never wants to party since he made Assistant Manager. That's it. Get Harold, Kumar, Barry, Landfill and Fink. We're going over to Robert's and having an antivention. Bring beer."
by Logan Hawkes July 11, 2008
The condition where a group of people sharing a living space each avoid doing a household chore for an extended period because each believes it's someone else's responsibility. The idea is that eventually the situation will reach a critical mass where the guilty party will cave in and do the chore. In practice, the situation can escalate to extreme levels.
"I'm not going to do the dishes. It's your turn." "Yeah, but 90% of them are from the dinner you made for your girlfriend. I'm not cleaning up your mess." "I'm not playing roommate chicken with you on this. Clean it up!" "I'll die before I clean your mess." "Fuck you!" "Fuck you!"
by Logan Hawkes December 10, 2007