A sexual act wherein a fully-clothed, typically costumed subject pulls his/her pants down and squats the exposed buttocks down into a pie and wiggles around while being observed or filmed. Commonly associated with fetishists.

Synonyms: Hoboken Squat Cobbler, Full Moon Pie, Boston Cream Splat, Simple Simon the Ass Man, Dutch Apple Ass.

Variants: Crybaby Squat Cobbler, in which the subject cries while performing the act.
Dee: "What the hell is a Squat Cobbler??"
Jay: "It's when a man sits in pie. He sits... in a pie. And he... wiggles around."
by SeamusOLanigan May 20, 2016
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Squat Cobbler aka Hoboken Squat Cobbler

A type of fetish where "a man sits in pie, and wiggles around"

Videos of pie sitters are used for sexual arousal.
A costume is often involved.
Variation is a "crybaby squat" accompanied by tears, but not all pie sitter cry.

Also known as;

Boston Cream Splat
Full Moon moon pie
Simple Simon the Ass man
Dutch Apple Ass

First defined on S2Ep2 of Better Call Saul, where Jimmy McGill fabricates
it's usage to get a client off.
We always figured Pryce was a Squat Cobbler, he often had pie on the seat of his pants.
by Jaguart March 10, 2016
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Derives from the AMC Original "Better Call Saul", which is the act of a fully clothed man sitting, and proceeding to rub the buttocks into a pie of choice, and occasionally crying, for the intent of sexual arousal.
To get out of questioning, I told them that you did a Squat Cobbler.
by AMCMcGill February 24, 2016
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A Squat Cobbler also known in some areas as a Hoboken Squat Cobbler involves a naked man sitting down on a pie and wiggling around. Crying may or may not be involved. It’s a fetish.
The squat cobbler loved having his picture taken while dressed as a baby.
by Sal T Penuz April 3, 2016
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It's when a man sits in pie and wiggles his penis around wearing a costume. Occasionally the man starts tearing up, therefore it's known as Crybaby Squad.

One might also stumble upon one of these definitions:
Hoboken Squat Cobbler
Full Moon Moon-Pie
Boston Cream Splat
Simple-Simon-The-Ass-Man
Dutch Apple Ass

(originated by the character of Saul Goodman in a television series "Better Call Saul")
SIMON: Bro, did you hear what Angela caught Patrick doing last night?
ALEX: No, what?
SIMON: He was sitting in a freaking apple pie wiggling his dick in cinnamon while wearing a Power Rangers outfit.
ALEX: Wow, what a squat cobbler, that guy.
by Clarkinator March 13, 2016
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An act (frequently sexual in nature) that isn't illegal but is so embarrassing that one will go to great lengths (even lying to the police) to keep it a secret. The term originated on the TV series "Better Call Saul" in reference to a specific sexual act, but may be used to describe any action that's considered embarrassing.
Detective 1: So, fully clothed Mr. Wormald by himself doing what?
Detective 2: Yeah, come on, man. What?
Jimmy McGill: sighs Squat cobbler.
Detective 1: What's a s-squat cobbler?
Jimmy McGill: Squat cobbler. You know what squat cobbler is.
Detective 1: No, I don't... I don't know what a squat cobbler is.
Detective 2: No, me neither. What is it?
Jimmy McGill: What? And you two guys are cops? Hoboken Squat Cobbler. Full Moon Moon Pie. Boston Crème Splat. Seriously? Simple Simon the Ass Man. Dutch Apple Ass. Guys, am I not speaking English here?
Detective 1: What the hell is a squat cobbler?!
Jimmy McGill: It's when a man sits in pie! He sits in a pie! And he... he wiggles around. Maybe it's like Hellman's Mayonnaise. It has a different name west of the Rockies. I don't know. But, uh, technically, he does a crybaby squat, so there's tears, which makes it more specialized. Not all pie sitters cry. But I'm gonna tell you something: This guy? He's a regular Julianne Moore once he gets the waterworks cranked up.
Detective 2: Pies? What? Like apple?
Jimmy McGill: Guys, I'm not the filmmaker here, all right? Banana cream. I... uh, peach. Oh, and there... And there is a costume involved.
Detective 1: (snorts) You've got to be shittin' us.
Jimmy McGill: Yeah, like I would make this up. Hey, the world is a rich tapestry, my friends. But trust me on this. You don't want to see it.
by Logan Hawkes March 30, 2016
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Sexual proclivity that the person(s) get aroused by sitting in a pie or person(s) getting aroused by watching someone sitting in a pie. Referenced by character Saul Goodman from the TV series "Better Call Saul".
Saul the attorney to the police officers "My client gets paid to produce a video that shows him ummmm sitting in a pie among other things" it's called Squat Cobbler.
by meaniemogg2 April 27, 2016
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