Santa's Take

A word created for the head of household that get's to have unmitigated, no holds barred sex with their partner due to the amount of cash, credit & various other resources drummed out during the holidays in order to make the family happy and/or content.

May or may not be applied directly to anal sex with the wife/girlfriend - no questions asked.

Wife: "Now that everyone is gone from Christmas dinner, did you have a good time? By the way thanks for that diamond tennis bracelet you bought me dear..."

Husband: "I'm tired, full, half drunk & horny. Time for Santa's Take!"

Wife: "What is Santa's Take?"

Husband: "Bend that rump over and I'll show you. I will be debt for the next 12 months because your kids only wear Ralph Lauren and wanted diamond nipple rings. Now it's Santa's turn... It's time for Santa's Take!"

Wife: "yes dear. (bends over somewhat willingly)

/end

by WillyJK December 23, 2008

santa's little helper

Homer Simpson's dog.

I love you Santa's Little Helper.

by Joe D April 23, 2005

Santa's lap

The act of sitting on a mans lap, while having intercourse on Christmas Day (sex position where one person sits down and the other person bounces on top, creating enjoyable sex on the 25th of December)

"Dude she sat on Santa's lap at the Christmas party last night!"

by the urban legend March 29, 2016

santa's little helper

a hot little booty that works for the ceo

Jimmy: Did you see the skirt on santa's little helper?
Sunny: Man, it's good to be santa, given her presents and all.

by Bombsky February 26, 2010

Santa's Big Red Sack

Preferably done around Christmas time. You go out and find a virgin, pop her cherry, and then paint your sack with her blood.

Hey Tom, this chick let me do Santa's Big Red Sack with her last night. It was awesome.

by JayTree January 19, 2008

Santa's Stocking

To ejaculate into somebodies sock as a practical joke

After sexing your missus,pull out and come in her sock and reply "Santa left you something from his fat sack."
Or
On your best friends mums birthday jack off into one of her socks,and reply
"Santa came early this year"
Or
Your bosses sock,friends sock,etc

Now that you know what a Santa's Stocking is, it's time to spread that Christmas joy, regardless of the time of year.

by O'Shay June 17, 2008

Santa's Secret Penguin Spy

He is the most awesome penguin ever. Ziffle is not just any penguin. He is a secret spy sent by an agency to help keep an eye on boys and girls expecting a Christmas Eve visit from Santa Claus. Ziffle needs to know just one thing? Which children in the world are being naughty and which are being nice.

Ziffle is no elf. Armed with a cell phone with a direct line to Santa, he does not need a train, plane, or even wings to deliver his message. Ziffle can just text a name! But all the boys and girls know that if their mom or dad has to tell them twice, Ziffle has another secret spy device that allows Santa to see the entire human race from the comfort of his big chair at the North Pole.

In this enchanting holiday tale, a secret penguin spy partners with Santa to ensure that children around the world learn that it is always better to be nice than naughty!

Santa's Secret Penguin Spy is a bad bad a** like 007 style.
Hit him up at zifflebooks.com peace

by The Mob Boss September 3, 2012