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As reported by comedian Dave Barry, a businessman by the name of Jim Munn was planning to implement an idea allegedly relayed to him by a federal health inspector: gluing the rectums of Thanksgiving turkeys shut in order to decrease the risk of salmonella poisoning.

The proposed name for this product/service was 'Rectite.'

It is unclear if the product made it out of the development stage. This may be an urban legend, although Snopes.com has no entry for it as of 2-June-05.
Wow, did you hear what happened to the Joneses? They got salmonella from their Thanksgiving Turkey! I sure am glad you got a Turkey with Rectite, honey- salmonella is no fun.
rectite by rosignol June 8, 2005
Words you can keep
Kiko: Never had rectite, meself!
Emi: Uso!
Kiko: Punch-o!
rectite by Kiko February 3, 2004
from french La rectite translates to The proctitis which is an inflammation of the anus and the lining of the rectum.
"I'm a triple rectified ass son of a bitch
Rectite on my ass and it makes me itch"
Rectite by heroin_bob August 29, 2018

cranial rectitis 

1. n. A condition noted by behaving in such a puerile, obnoxious, and moronic manner as to have one's head up his or her ass. Note that things are dark and smelly for someone with this condition.
2. When someone is severely afflicted to the point that his or her shoulders are two-blocked against the buttocks, this is known as "perpendicular cranial rectitis."
Why do all those Hollywood idiots have such cranial rectitis?
Boy, Harry Reid debates with all the intellectual acumen of SpongeBob SquarePants. How did he contract perpendicular cranial rectitis?
cranial rectitis by Dan1271 November 8, 2007

I hesitate to articulate for fear that I may deviate from the true course of rectitude 

I don't know. Literally. It means, I don't know.
Professor: Michael, what is the atomic weight of Uranium?
Michael: I hestiate to articulate for fear that I may deviate from the true course of rectitude.
Professor: What?
Michael: I don't know.

Ocular rectitis 

When the nerves between your anus and eyes switch and you have a shitty outlook on life.
*after listening to someone bitch/be negative/ have a shitty outlook on life* "Wow, looks like you're suffering from ocular rectitis."

rectitude 

That serious, dignified demeanor assumed by a proctologist immediately before he examines you.
The proctologist pulled on the latex glove and approached his patient with rectitude.
rectitude by Socrates52 October 18, 2013
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Failure Shower 

When you fail at something in life (eg. failing an exam or not getting a job), go home and spend an hour just standing in the shower, propping yourself up against the wall with your eyes on your feet.
Caleb knew the only thing to do after he didnt get prefect was take a failure shower.
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Acronym for Non-Athletic Regular Person. Your schools lacrosse team probably shouts it at you while you walk by.
Lookie at these bunch of narps, NARP NARP NARP
NARP by Douchebag McKenzy March 31, 2010
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