masturbeer 

1. Dutch word for: I "masturbate"

2. Masturbating while having a beer.

3. Masturbating using beer.

1. Hallo, mijn naam is Erik en met deze hand masturbeer ik. (English:) "Hi, my name's Erik, and I masturbate with this hand."

2/3.
Guy1: Hey, whatya doin'?
Guy2: Ah, nothing, just masturbeering.
Guy1: Oh, cool, lemme join :D
Guy2: Have you got some lube then?
Guy1: No..
Guy2: Then let's use the third definition of masturbeer :D!
Guy1: O_O...

masturbeer by MrSecret September 17, 2010

masturbeto 

The lonely physical act of engaging in near-sexual fantasies of large-scale gun confiscation. Usually done to completion in an act of shameless pandering to one’s mindless millennial followers

There he goes again, starting to Masturbeto at the campaign rally

masturbeto by General con douchenbag October 12, 2022

Masturbetes 

a common yet often undiagnosed disease normally developed in but not limited to the late teens, namely freshman year of college. Although it can be seen in the rare female case, Masturbetes affects mainly males. This disease causes the testicles to produce large amounts of semen and testosterone, thus causing a drastic peak in the sexual desire and arousal of the afflicted male, who is scientifically referred to as a Masturbetic. The most common treatment is excessive masturbation, usually accompanied by the viewing of pornographic materials. Another symptom is increased aggressive behavior towards the female sex mostly in an attempt to receive a sort of assisted treatment from said female. Rejection can lead to the Maturbetic engaging in further self-treatment. Ejaculation reduces elevated sexual desire and semen in Masturbetics, similar to how insulin shots decrease abnormally high blood sugar in diabetics. Severe cases call for around 3-5 rounds of intense treatment to curb desire and reduce the amount of semen to normal levels. Lubrication is advised in such cases to avoid irritation of the penile region.

"Dude...I just went to the doctor, and I got diagnosed with masturbetes..."

"That's why you jerk off so much! that sucks man"

"Not really, I got a doctor's note, and now that I'm a Masturbetic, I can slap my johnson in class"

Masturbetes by FroknKoko December 3, 2011

Masturbaker's dozen 

The pinnacle of all dedicated feckless cum-shedders whereby the participant aims to ejaculate more than 13 times in a 24 hour period. 13 loads in generally accepted by industry insiders as being the level that separates the men from the boys.

'I did it , I did the masturbaker's dozen! Admittedly the last six were with a floppy and the jizz was purely gaseous, but by golly I finally did it. Now it's off to the doctor for me to get some ointment for the blisters and tennis elbow..'

Masturbaker's dozen by Anonymous submissions December 10, 2016

masturbearding 

To stroke one's beard with great intensity, almost as if the act is sexually gratifying.

I couldn't concentrate on the professor's lecture because he was masturbearding the whole time.

masturbearding by internetsensation May 27, 2009

Masturbeat 

The act of masturbating with one self to the beat of a song. Can also be used in other tenses such as; Masturbeating or Masturbeated.

Billy just told me how much the band Dragonforce has changed his life since he only used to masturbeat to Rick Astley.

Masturbeat by William O'brien October 6, 2012

masturbernation 

The act of masturbating vigorously and causing the individual to enter a deep sleep for a ridiculous amount of time.

When this semester is over I will reward myself a solid week of relaxing masturbernation.

masturbernation by Sinderton April 16, 2011