Masturberry 

An insulting term for a Blackberry phone poking fun at the excessive size and often unnecessary features. It equates ownership of the phone to "public masturbation" in that owning one is far too showy and ostentatious (often worn on a belt clip) and seems to stroke the suffering ego of the owner.

"Man, there's that assclown Chad with his Masturberry. He doesn't even have a job."

Masturberry by NotoriousCPR June 21, 2009

masturbearding 

To stroke one's beard with great intensity, almost as if the act is sexually gratifying.

I couldn't concentrate on the professor's lecture because he was masturbearding the whole time.

masturbearding by internetsensation May 27, 2009

masturbernation 

The act of masturbating vigorously and causing the individual to enter a deep sleep for a ridiculous amount of time.

When this semester is over I will reward myself a solid week of relaxing masturbernation.

masturbernation by Sinderton April 16, 2011

masturbedroom 

Reclaimed use of the term "master bedroom," given that it is no longer socially acceptable to refer to the biggest bedroom in your house as a master bedroom (negative historical associations etc).

A masturbedroom is your own private sanctuary where you are free to self-love (with or without a partner), safe from being bothered by your dependents who inhabit the smaller bedrooms. A masturbedroom is a place where you can be an adult.

See "masturbasement."

"What are you up to this weekend?"
"Well, the wife and kids are gone, visiting her mother. I think I'm just gonna relax in my masturbedroom."
"Great plan, I'm jealous."

masturbedroom by adribt March 17, 2022

Masterberrying 

The act of viewing and sending messages on a Blackberry while holding it underneath a table to hide the act.

1. Man, I was masterberrying like a fiend in that meeting.

2. The boss totally caught me masterberrying last week.

Masterberrying by Mendeleev August 28, 2008

masturbeard 

Stroking your own beard either slowly or vigorously, simply for the pleasure of it.

"While in deep thought, I often find myself masturbearding."

masturbeard by philo1618 February 26, 2015

masturbeer 

1. Dutch word for: I "masturbate"

2. Masturbating while having a beer.

3. Masturbating using beer.

1. Hallo, mijn naam is Erik en met deze hand masturbeer ik. (English:) "Hi, my name's Erik, and I masturbate with this hand."

2/3.
Guy1: Hey, whatya doin'?
Guy2: Ah, nothing, just masturbeering.
Guy1: Oh, cool, lemme join :D
Guy2: Have you got some lube then?
Guy1: No..
Guy2: Then let's use the third definition of masturbeer :D!
Guy1: O_O...

masturbeer by MrSecret September 17, 2010