Skip to main content

masturbant

A gel or liquid used for lubrication in the aid of masturbation.
Becky sold me some Avon shaving cream that worked as a great masturbant.

Sue was watching Tom masturbate and offered some shaving cream to be used as a masturbant.
by Tommy Bear May 4, 2004
mugGet the masturbant mug.

masturbate and switch

Masturbate and switch — the erotic KINK of having sex with one person while thinking of another; or, of talking dirty to a sexual partner and allowing them to verbally — either from your mouth or theirs — acknowledge deep sexual attraction for another person; or, for an extreme sexual scenario.

This is not a practice for the sexually insecure — unless insecurity is your particular KINK!!!!!

On the one hand, if one wants to enjoy the depth sexuality of another, the partner has to be made to feel comfortable physically, mentally and spiritually.

On the other hand, one would have to ask if their ego is strong enough to facilitate the unbridled sexuality and fantasy life of another.

Well…you don’t hit home runs unless you swing for the fences. And, on the other hand, if you swing too hard and miss YOU CAN STRIKE OUT!!!!!!

Unless you are a “sex-pert” DON’T TRY THIS AT HOME!!!!!!!

But if you are ever semi-single in Negril at a Club Med — and you didn’t hear this from me — give it a shot!!!!!!!

Remember: NOT A PRACTICE FOR THE SEXUALLY TIMID AND INSECURE!!!!!!
Him: Wow, that was a quick orgasm, babe!!! You must have been really horny.

Her: Naw. I did a masturbate and switch and IT GOT REALLY GOOD TO ME!!!!!!

Him: Tell me what you were thinking so I can masturbate and switch, too!!!!!!!!!
by Mind Hunter the Profiler June 21, 2023
mugGet the masturbate and switch mug.

masturbating to the dictionary

A phrase used as a comeback to a Grammar Nazi or to someone who says “grammar is sexy” during a conversation. It can be used in any situation to respond to someone who tries to shame you on your grammar.
i.e.
txt msg exchange
Timmy: Yo Jake, you wanna come over to Jason’s place to smoke after school? Meghan and Jill are coming over and I’m sure your have a dope time with us.
Jake: You mean *you’ll have a dope time.
Timmy: Dude, are you masturbating to the dictionary at your house? Don’t be such a Grammar Nazi.

Lucy: Hey Jamie, do you think Alex is doing good today after the party last night? You think he’s interested in hanging out later?
Jamie: You mean, doing WELL after the party…? Damn Lucy, grammar is sexy just an fyi.
Lucy: Wtf Jamie, when did you start masturbating to the dictionary?
by runninghighkid August 4, 2018
mugGet the masturbating to the dictionary mug.

Macsturbator

1. A self-righteous, blindly optimistic, and outspoken proponent of Apple products.

2. An Apple Fanboy.
Adam: "I LOVE my Mac. OS X is PERFECT! That's why it NEVER gets viruses!"

Bob: "No, OS X doesn't gets viruses because 98% of the world uses PCs, Macsturbator."
by CleffedUp July 31, 2009
mugGet the Macsturbator mug.

Comedic Masturbation

When you are so funny by yourself that you laugh out loud without any participation by a partner.

Progresses from a small grin to a smile to a quiet giggle and then quickly reaches the climactic event of an audible belly laugh, or LOL. Following climax, tissue is often used to dry resulting wetness occuring in the ocular region.
My humor is not always understood by others and I frequently find myself involuntarily engaging in comedic masturbation.
by K-Rista-Raaah July 22, 2016
mugGet the Comedic Masturbation mug.

masturbate

Act people commit when browsing Urban Dictionary
by 32121 July 22, 2016
mugGet the masturbate mug.

Bureaucratic Masturbation

noun - 1. Engaging in any activity for the sake of making one feel better about themselves, their organization, or their company without actually accomplishing anything. 2. Holding meetings to provide recommendations only to have management do what they wanted in the first place. 3. Holding special work group meetings to make the 'little people' feel ownership, when the decision has already been made by higher levels of management.
My boss has picked me to suffer through more Bureaucratic Masturbation, representing the department on a policy work group.
I spent the last 3 months researching the best candidate for the position and the Boss picked his pet employee anyway. God I hat Bureaucratic Masturbation!
by Bill Koogler January 17, 2008
mugGet the Bureaucratic Masturbation mug.

Share this definition

Sign in to vote

We'll email you a link to sign in instantly.

Or

Check your email

We sent a link to

Open your email