Mastrobate

Something EVERYONE does, even if they'd die before admitting it.

There's a few possible parental reactions to seeing their kid do it.

1, (Usually mom): *Scream* "What are you doing?!"
2, (Usually dad): *Sits* "There comes a time in a person's life when they must become an adult. You put the pole in the hole, some people like hole-on-hole. But for pole-hole, when you don't want kids, put on this bit of rubber called a condom on any hole...A woman of course, man-on-man can't end in a baby. If you want a baby, you don't wear one and you put the pole in the wet, throbbing, slippery hole and let the white stuff in it a few times. She'll make noise, which means you're doing good. I'll keep explaining tomorrow."
3, (🔥Rare Drop🔥): "It's okay, everyone does it."
4, (✨️LEGENDARY!!!✨️): *Doesn't care enough to when say anything*

These are parental reactions to their kids who mastrobate

Mastrobate by Prince of the Void December 4, 2025

masturbate and switch 

Masturbate and switch — the erotic KINK of having sex with one person while thinking of another; or, of talking dirty to a sexual partner and allowing them to verbally — either from your mouth or theirs — acknowledge deep sexual attraction for another person; or, for an extreme sexual scenario.

This is not a practice for the sexually insecure — unless insecurity is your particular KINK!!!!!

On the one hand, if one wants to enjoy the depth sexuality of another, the partner has to be made to feel comfortable physically, mentally and spiritually.

On the other hand, one would have to ask if their ego is strong enough to facilitate the unbridled sexuality and fantasy life of another.

Well…you don’t hit home runs unless you swing for the fences. And, on the other hand, if you swing too hard and miss YOU CAN STRIKE OUT!!!!!!

Unless you are a “sex-pert” DON’T TRY THIS AT HOME!!!!!!!

But if you are ever semi-single in Negril at a Club Med — and you didn’t hear this from me — give it a shot!!!!!!!

Remember: NOT A PRACTICE FOR THE SEXUALLY TIMID AND INSECURE!!!!!!

Him: Wow, that was a quick orgasm, babe!!! You must have been really horny.

Her: Naw. I did a masturbate and switch and IT GOT REALLY GOOD TO ME!!!!!!

Him: Tell me what you were thinking so I can masturbate and switch, too!!!!!!!!!

masturbate and switch by Mind Hunter the Profiler June 21, 2023

masturbate 

Act people commit when browsing Urban Dictionary

All these definitions make me want to masturbate

masturbate by 32121 July 22, 2016

maestrobater 

To conduct your penis as if you are conducting a symphony orchestra, usually to classical music.

"Don Tildone was quite the maestrobater."

"Too bad they banned the vid of him on YouTube."

"Well, it was pretty inappropriate when he ejaculated into the trombone section. Then the entire audience had to wait for fifteen minutes while he warmed up again."

maestrobater by Chuckles the angry monkey August 26, 2007

masturbate 

To stimulate the genitals for a jolt of pleasure (orgasm).

John wanted to masturbate, so he clicked on the computer in the darkly lit room. He typed “porn hub” into the search bar and took off his jeans. He quickly took off his boxers and let his dick feel the fresh air. He clicked the most popular result and started watching the porn.
He felt his dick harden when he got to the sex. He felt aroused, so he started to wank. It filled him up with pleasure. The head of his dick became covered with precum and he started wanking faster. It felt so good to him. He started to stroke it and rub it. His penis was dripping with precum.

He felt his dick become heavy and the head full. The threesome on the screen were arousing John even more. John let out a deep moan of pleasure and a hot stream of jizz sprayed out of his member. Semen covered his lap, as his dick bobbled around to let out a few more spurts of cum. He kept wanking, then his door opened. John was so scared, he almost ripped his dick off.
His dick layed flaccid across his naked legs, then he walked to the bathroom, his legs coated with semen.

masturbate by Well, shit. December 21, 2017

masturbate 

stimulate one's own genitals for sexual pleasure.
stimulate the genitals of (someone) to give them sexual pleasure. to make yourself feel so good and tingle-y inside when your bored or horney and when you make yourself feel fucking amazing.. here's an example for girls lay backwards on a bed and spread your legs a little apart.. then put your hands in your pants (if you're wearing them) and open your vagina lips with your index finger and middle finger.. once you've opened your vagina gently move your middle finger around (up and down, side to side, counterclockwise) whatever pleases you most.. rub gently up and down.. now after awhile your pussy will get used to your fingers, now is time for your middle finger to be a little more aggressive.. moving farther down the pussy gives you a tingley-feeling and going in and out of your hole feels really good now if your pretty gentle it might make a squeezing sound of your vagina licquids or cum (this is normal) by now your body is probably movin all around your bed with your finger be used it feels so good.. it helps to close your eyes and moan a little.. spreading your index and ring finger a little further will give you more access to rubbing.... side effects will probably give your pussy a tingle

I love to make myself feel pleasure.. it's called to masturbate

masturbate by okcatsanddogsgivemehappy May 28, 2015

Masturbate 

If you’re a girl this one is for you :)

When I’m home alone / in bed and I get super horny, I lay down and gently put my hand down my pyjama bottoms and into my underwear, running two fingertips in a circular motion on my clit to get me nice and wet. Usually I’m thinking about my boyfriend when I’m doing this but sometimes I look on urban dictionary for some really steamy definitions. I slip two fingers into my hole and pump them inside for a few seconds-a minute until I’m gasping for breath. Then, I take out my blanket and put it underneath me (because cum stains do not come off) and reach for my hairbrush. I rub my clit more and then insert my hairbrush into my tight hole, moaning slightly as it stretches me out a little bit. When I’m wet enough I go faster, the subtle ridges on the brush providing the stimulation that I need. When I’m about to cum I pull the hairbrush out and reach for my vibrator. I turn it on to the first setting (we’ll change the setting later) and place it firmly on my clit, moving it around to find that special spot. By now I’m gasping for breath and moaning and the hairbrush is back in my hole, reaching my g-spot right at the back. I pump my hips up and down like I’m actually being banged, turning the vibrator up a setting to increase the vibration. The motion of the hairbrush and the vibrator make me squirt on my blanket and I moan my boyfriends name and catch my breath afterwards.

My whole family’s gone out - guess it’s time to masturbate!

This definition made me horny - where’s my vibrator?

Masturbate by MrsSpookyBitch7 March 1, 2021