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im pregnant 

when you have unprotected sex with your partner of the opposite gender
GF:"Baby remember last month in the shower when we had dat amazing sex"
BF:" Yea it was so fun"
GF: Well remember we didnt use a condom and im not on birth control"
BF:"Yea"
GF:IM PREGNANT, NIGGA

I'm pregnant 

A popular excuse used by women to stop a boyfriend, husband, fiancée, etc from playing COD any longer.
Girl: "Honey, how long are you going to play that stupid game?"

Guy: "Just put it in the fridge and I'll heat it up later."

Girl: "Are you even listening to me?... I'm pregnant."

Guy: "You're just saying that to get me to come upstairs."

Girl: "ugh" and walks away
I'm pregnant by FreBerSch February 18, 2010

I'm Pregnant 

What you don't want to hear if you don't want to have kids. However, you wouldn't have had to if you didn't cave in to your Girlfriend's or Wife's demands to have them.
Laura: I have something to say.
Robert: What do you have to say?
Laura: I'm Pregnant
Robert: Shit
I'm Pregnant by PhoenixGamer34 April 21, 2021

I would, but I'm pregnant 

an excuse for doing nothing, used by women as a reason for not doing things that anyone else can do without a second thought
make the beds? i would, but I'm pregnant..

only when I'm pregnant 

A male person's definitive "never" response. Puts to rest the relentless drunk friend-of-friend who tries to force you into a flase confession.
Drunk FoF: "Dude, would you ever consider nailing Snooki?"
Dude: "No."
Drunk FoF: "Not even if your were drunk?"
Dude: "Never."
Drunk FoF: "Even if you're drunk, horny, and she's playing with your balls?"
Dude: "Only when I'm pregnant."

I’m pregnant

Either the most exciting thing or scariest thing your wife can say depending on your thoughts
Wife 1: “I’m pregnant
Husband 1: “Yay, we’re gonna be parents”

Wife 2: “I’m pregnant
Husband 2: “OH GOSH, I’M NOT READY TO BE A DAD”
I’m pregnant by Hamtaro June 11, 2023