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Clenching Chowder 

What happens after having unprotected anal intercourse with a man with a tiny penis. The ejaculate doesn't get past the Anus Hotel lobby (so to speak) and coagulates very close to the one and only exit; occasionally causing a bloated feeling or general lower GI discomfort.
After they found him half naked with his scout master in the closet, he ran to that restroom so fast you just knew he was clenching chowder.
Clenching Chowder by Finn Gerbang January 6, 2015

Clutching Bungle 

To be in dire need of a shit
Any chance I can cut in the queue, mate? I'm clutching bungle here!
Clutching Bungle by Mondo Prime April 22, 2009

Buttock-clenching

1 Noun. The clenching of the Gluteus Maximus.
2 Adj. A word used to describe a tense, awkward or painful moment. This word was used by Bear Grylls whilst making a dangerous descent down a rock cliff in Man Vs Wild.

Buttock-clenching is a phrase used by British people.
1 Buttock-clenching helps strengthen the Gluteus Maximus.
2 That fall looked buttock-clenchingly painful.
Buttock-clenching by JMUK July 17, 2012

Double Clutching 

Finger blasting two chicks simultaneously from behind in a public setting, preferably on the dance floor while wearing sunglasses
Nate: Yo did you see Sam out on the dance floor?
Jake: Finger blasting those two hussies?
Nate: Yeah he was double clutching the shit out of them!
Jake: WOW! I gotta get me two hoes to double clutch!

couching distance 

The distance one can reach without leaving the couch or sofa.
That job is too far; it's not within couching distance.

I can't reach the remote control because it's not in couching distance.
couching distance by Ryan November 27, 2004

baby's arm clutching a plum 

A very large penis. About equivilent in size to a baby's arm, the the head being the size and general color of a plum.
Mary: Did you see the size of that thing?
Jane: Oh my...It was...
Mary: As big as a baby's arm clutching a plum.
Jane: Yes, Yes it was.