7 definitions by JMUK

Latin for shithead. Used when trying to insult a more intelligent person than you, hoping they do not understand what you have just called them, making them feel less intelligent.
Man1- Excuse me, do you know who you're talking to?
Man2- Stercus Caput.
Man1- (looks puzzled)
Man2- (walks off)
by JMUK July 14, 2012
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An itch that you can only get rid of by scratching another part of the body
Even though his knee itched, he was itching his thigh because he had a body glitch
by JMUK July 15, 2012
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Mispelling of the word "retard". People suffering from insomnia dyslexia may accidently spell retard in this way, and when used as an insult, the word backfires in your face and only proves that you are the retard.
Man1- What's 2+2?
Man2- 3.
Man1- No, it's 4. You're a retetard.
Man2- I was being sarcastic and you're the retard because you can't spell.
by JMUK July 14, 2012
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1 Noun. The clenching of the Gluteus Maximus.
2 Adj. A word used to describe a tense, awkward or painful moment. This word was used by Bear Grylls whilst making a dangerous descent down a rock cliff in Man Vs Wild.

Buttock-clenching is a phrase used by British people.
1 Buttock-clenching helps strengthen the Gluteus Maximus.
2 That fall looked buttock-clenchingly painful.
by JMUK July 14, 2012
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Group of main characters in a film or book who seem to always survive everything, whilst all the other characters around them die out.
Many Ewoks died in the Battle of Endor. Of course, the A-team survived once again unharmed.
by JMUK December 24, 2012
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Word created when all three insults are applied: go die in a fire, go die of cancer, go die in a hole. Used when you can't be asked to fire separate insults at a person or do not have the time to argue with them.
Man1- Do you want to play with me in warhammer club?
Man2- Go away. No one likes you. You have no friends.
Man1- What about Lego club?
Man2- No. Go die in a fiery cancerous hole.
Man1- (starts crying)
by JMUK July 14, 2012
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Status given to one who has earned it simply through being witty. Sheer banter alone may not determine whether or not one is a Living Legend. The minimum skills required to obtain Living Legend status are as follows:
-Must have an average comeback time no greater than 2.9 seconds.
-Must be able to inflict a third degree burn with no more than three insults.
-Must be able to insult any stereotype without using stereotypes.
-Must never use the same insults multiple times in one month.
-Must live by the motto of the Society of Banter: "Originality is key".

To officially be granted Living Legend status, one must pass the Society of Banter initiation test, a self-invigilated practical examination where candidates must successfully take on and defeat three random opponents in a battle of wits, over the time period of one hour. This is easiest judged by the magnitude of the observing crowd's roar. The greater in volume their appreciation of banter is, the more certain one can be that they have won. If the opposite is true, in that the observing crowd's roar is louder for one's opponent, one must admit defeat and declare aloud: "I have failed the Society of Banter initiation test. I am not a Living Legend." If this is the case, one must wait one month without attempting to engage in a battle of wits with anyone, before attempting the initiation test again.
James inflicted third degree burns on his opponent in the battle of wits; he must be a Living Legend.
by JMUK January 15, 2014
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