Blumke

To receive a blow job while having a shit.

As it's your birthday today I'll give you a blumke as a special treat.

by Qabbalah September 18, 2020

Blumke

When you get a blowjob whilst you're having a shit.

"Mitch is in the doghouse again."
"why? What's happened?"

"He asked Kerri Anne for a blumke."

by Kinneth September 17, 2020

Blumke

When your wife has a three way with a Nigerian and a pit bull

I had a friend once. His wife would Blumke him every time she went to Vegas

by MattJGoaltender69 January 22, 2020

tarmac blumke

To defecate on your partner's chest, and smear the excrement into their chest with your bottom, while they perform oral sex

She's a 1, but she's up for a tarmac blumke

by Fathead Chad July 1, 2024

Upper Dutch Blumkin

the combination of an

Upper Decker (Pooping in the tank)
Dutch Oven (Farting - then pulling the covers over your partner's head)
and a Blumkin (Getting a blowjob while taking a dump)

In other words - Pooping in the tank while getting a blowjob with a towel over the blowjob giver's head

this is a class move - only performed at major burns (like Burning Man) or in Northern Virginia to settle a blood feud

I thought it was just an upper decker - but the fucker left a picture of my Mom giving him an upper dutch blumkin

by karnakdave July 28, 2011

blumperbating

masturbating while taking a shit

Are you kidding dude? Blumperbating's the best!

by Baker146 January 13, 2011

blurker

A blog lurker. Someone who reads a lot of blogs but never posts any comments.

I stopped posting to my LJ because all my readers were blurkers.

by Webster114 December 9, 2008