albas

An excessively awesome and majestic man who melts all the ladies with his luscious eyes and makes the men weep for what they cannot have, since he is so sexy that they all turn gay.

I saw Albas today and realized how small my penis really is.

albas by Guesswho? July 29, 2004

Preposterous boast, but alas 

Replacement for “weird flex but ok” because it’s overused

Random person: “I didn’t lose my virginity because I don’t take L’s.”
Me: “Preposterous boast, but alas.”

Preposterous boast, but alas by Fresh Timbs October 29, 2018

Alaskan crab cake 

An act of pure ritual fetish where by the man cums and shits inside the woman's vagina lips, pinches them together, smacks his mistress ass (i.e. in a three way), then has her eat the shit out of his other hoe's vagina. Historically the ritual involved a dog's prolapsed rectum (i.e. Ritual participants would feed the dog Juan Pablo's Devil Juice to achieve rectal blowout), whale dicks and cattle semen, but since the age of enlightening has become simplified.

Geewhizzz i saw Suzy Rotten Crotch eat Billy's girl's Alaskan Crab Cake with extreme prejudice.

Alaskan crab cake by The Good Dude Giveth September 6, 2016

The Alaskan Pancake Pile Driver Upside Down Milk Machine 

A complex sexual position in which an Alaskan woman is tied naked upside down to a maple tree, covered in syrup, and milked before being humped.

The Alaskan Pancake Pile Driver Upside Down Milk Machine is a common maneuver in the northern outskirts of Canada, where the act will not be interfered with by law enforcement, as it is illegal.

The Alaskan Pancake Pile Driver Upside Down Milk Machine by PoehlerBehr June 5, 2018

Alabaster Disaster 

When a group of white kids attempt to form a rap group and perform horrifically

"Yo did you get a glimpse of that alabaster disaster that played at the youth center this weekend"

Alabaster Disaster by cMoneygRip January 29, 2009

Abashockshalock 

A 2 year old stuck in the body of an 11 year old

Hey it’s abashockshalock

Abashockshalock by Human person April 24, 2019

Alaskan Blowhole

When your having sex with a girl and you want to fill all holes. you put your dick in her vagina. then your two thumbs in the ears with your pinky's covering the nostril. while your kissing her then shove your big toe up her ass. this will completely cover the holes.

Steven L.: Hey you want to try something new.
Hannah L. : Like what?
Steven L.: Can I give you an Alaskan blowhole.

Alaskan Blowhole by DLDLP February 8, 2017