A wet-face watermelon is a sex act involving Watermelon Pop Rocks, a spatula, industrial strength zip ties, Pioneer Valley Gourmet Cinnamon Apple Passion
Syrup, Hello
Kitty bandaids, and
two pinecones from 1 to 3 inches in diameter. The book containing a description of this act, From Gangbangs to Bungalows: A Comprehensive Encyclopedia of Kinks, Hang-
Ups, and Deviations, has been banned in almost every developed country, though rumor has it that this ritual is still a common practice among natives of Micronesia.