Turtleness

Ryan Metzger

His turtleness is iconic.

His turtleness will be the death of me.

Turtleness by AJR fan June 22, 2018

Turtleneck Butt 

Something you Googled after watching Big Mouth Season 4 Episode 3

Andrew: "According to WebMD I have turtleneck butt.

Turtleneck Butt by This is what you get December 17, 2020

turtleneck butt 

When you go a month without pooping, and the turd is so huge it stretches you hole so far that afterwards it hangs down loose like the collar of a turtleneck sweater.

I went to camp and couldn't poop for a month. When i finally did, it stretched my asshole out so badly now I've got turtleneck butt.

turtleneck butt by TenhoSede December 7, 2020

Turtlenerd

A species of human-like animals that are born on the island of turtopia carry the turtlenerd gene called turtitis and, are usually adopted by human parents. Turtlenerds are born with a shell, but human parents generally have it removed at a young age so that their child can better fit in with other human children. Turtlenerds commonly wear jackets zipped all the way up their neck in order to cope with their shell removal. As they age, turtlenerds develop a liking of both food and reading.

Jill-"Ashly did you that girl over there?"

Ashly-"Yeah she's really weird. She always keeps her jacket zipped up and all she does is read."

Jill-"I know, she must be a turtlenerd or something"

Turtlenerd by gineva November 21, 2011

Turtleneck Sweater 

(n.) A strategically designed sweater that has a piece of fabric at the top which hugs fabric completely around the neck. Mostly worn more recently by snobby artists (usually accompanied by a beret also black) or mom's over 35. However, the sweater originated to solve an age old problem of hiding hickeys. The neck is one of the most common places for visible hickeys to appear after a passionate make out session. The next day when you have to have dinner with you parents (or maybe even grandparents!) the hickey will make them think you are some kind of sex fiend. A fashion designer had this problem and after realizing all of their scarves were dirty (don't ask, that is more sex fiend stuff) quickly sewed extra fabric on top of an old sweater to completely conceal around the neck and thus the hickeys. Now men and women can wear hickeys around their families and everyone will think they just have no fashion sense.

Girl: "Tomorrow I have to spend Christmas visiting relatives."

Guy: "So no Chistmas Eve necking then?"

Girl: "Oh we totally can neck all night, I have an ugly Turtleneck Sweater I can wear!"

Turtleneck Sweater by Kangarilla September 30, 2014

Swiss Turtleneck 

The act of a man's head being placed between two sets of large breasts so that the breasts form a "turtleneck" around the man's neck.

Brandon: "Dude, i got the two Emily's to give me a Swiss Turtleneck!"

Blake: "Nice!"

Swiss Turtleneck by Big Choctaw July 9, 2010

one-eyed night-crawler w/ turtleneck 

Covert expression for the male (possibly uncircumcised) sexual tool.
see: one eyed trouser trout

His best catches were when he used his one-eyed night-crawler-with-a-turtleneck as bait.

one-eyed night-crawler w/ turtleneck by sonni hopkins September 7, 2005