turtlenet

slow dial up internet access

Ang: Can you housesit for us next week?

Leslie: I would, but I have to do my classes online and would go nutty with your turtlenet.

by Leslie Batta January 2, 2009

Turtleneck Butt

Something you Googled after watching Big Mouth Season 4 Episode 3

Andrew: "According to WebMD I have turtleneck butt.

by This is what you get December 17, 2020

turtleneck butt

When you go a month without pooping, and the turd is so huge it stretches you hole so far that afterwards it hangs down loose like the collar of a turtleneck sweater.

I went to camp and couldn't poop for a month. When i finally did, it stretched my asshole out so badly now I've got turtleneck butt.

by TenhoSede December 7, 2020

turtlehead

A loaf of shit that is beginning to poke out of your ass prior to reaching a toilet. Turtleheads are generally dealt with using careful restriction of the sphincter muscles until you can make it to a toilet. You must squeeze firmly enough to prevent the shit loaf from further sliding out of the ass, but not so firmly that you chop the turtlehead off, or smash it with your ass cheeks creating an undesirable mess.

Guy 1: "I really need to take a shit."

Guy 2: "A little, or a lot?"

Guy 1: "Well, I've got a turtlehead."

Guy 2: "Okay, that's an emergency. Be careful not to pinch it off. I think I see a restroom over there."

by Big B72 October 9, 2008

Turtlenerd

A species of human-like animals that are born on the island of turtopia carry the turtlenerd gene called turtitis and, are usually adopted by human parents. Turtlenerds are born with a shell, but human parents generally have it removed at a young age so that their child can better fit in with other human children. Turtlenerds commonly wear jackets zipped all the way up their neck in order to cope with their shell removal. As they age, turtlenerds develop a liking of both food and reading.

Jill-"Ashly did you that girl over there?"

Ashly-"Yeah she's really weird. She always keeps her jacket zipped up and all she does is read."

Jill-"I know, she must be a turtlenerd or something"

by gineva November 21, 2011

Turtleneck Sweater

(n.) A strategically designed sweater that has a piece of fabric at the top which hugs fabric completely around the neck. Mostly worn more recently by snobby artists (usually accompanied by a beret also black) or mom's over 35. However, the sweater originated to solve an age old problem of hiding hickeys. The neck is one of the most common places for visible hickeys to appear after a passionate make out session. The next day when you have to have dinner with you parents (or maybe even grandparents!) the hickey will make them think you are some kind of sex fiend. A fashion designer had this problem and after realizing all of their scarves were dirty (don't ask, that is more sex fiend stuff) quickly sewed extra fabric on top of an old sweater to completely conceal around the neck and thus the hickeys. Now men and women can wear hickeys around their families and everyone will think they just have no fashion sense.

Girl: "Tomorrow I have to spend Christmas visiting relatives."

Guy: "So no Chistmas Eve necking then?"

Girl: "Oh we totally can neck all night, I have an ugly Turtleneck Sweater I can wear!"

by Kangarilla September 30, 2014

turtlehead sneak

A fart that is surprisingly accompanied by a turd, forcing the farter to pull it back in to prevent a larger accident from ocurring.

Luckily for Eric, he realized his fart was a turtlehead sneak before he stained his underwear.

by Ulmelqlo April 30, 2008